Saturday, October 15, 2011

10 Giant Monsters Whose Feet You Should Avoid


I had a lot of fun with these lists in 2009, but for whatever reason, I only did one last year.   I've been watching a lot of monster movies for another project and for whatever reason, quite a few of them had some really LARGE monsters in them.  Most of them I had met before, for a few this was the first time they sent me running.  I thought I would share some of these monsters of ginormous size, mainly so you know to run the other way if they ever visit your town.


The Kraken, from the 1981 version of Clash of Titans, will never bother any of you who happen to be landlocked.  It's those of you who live on the coastlines that need to worry about this one.  Then again, he only devours virgins, so at least you now how to prevent him feasting on you.


The giant mutated ants from the 1954 classic Them! aren't going to raid your picnic for your packed lunch.  They have something a little bit larger in mind for their midday snack.  Don't know if they make Raid cans big enough for these guys.


Sadly, if Cthulhu show up, there isn't a damn thing you can do to save yourself.  This alien dark god who has been lying dormant in the Pacific Ocean is going to wake up one of these days.  Hopefully it's well after I'm already gone.


The "impossibly tall creature" from the 2007 movie, The Mist, is just one of many creatures that came from another dimension because the military was playing around with things they shouldn't have been.  It's not only  the biggest, it's also the ugliest.  A hard feat to achieve given the circumstances.


Poor Nancy Archer, the star of the 1958 classic, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.  She has everything a girl could want, well maybe she doesn't.  What this wealthy heiress has, is philandering husband, who would like nothing better than Nancy out of the way.  When she encounters an alien in the desert and is transformed into the 50 Foot Woman, her husband and his mistress better watch out.  If she shows up, let her know where Harry is hiding, and tell her to stay away from power lines.


You can take all your stupid remakes and give me the original King Kong any day.  This 1933 classic is still the only one I will watch.  I know I'm supposed to feel sorry for him, and I do.  But if it comes down to him trampling your city or him taking a rather large concrete dive, if you are smart, you will go with option 2.


The only air powered force of destruction to make this list is Rodan, the aerial frienemy of Godzilla, who will make an appearance later on.  This flying terror made his debut in 1956, starring in his own movie, aptly titled Rodan.  He has been on the side of good and chaos in the past.  But either way, if you see him flying above your neighborhood, just remember one thing.  No matter where he goes, cities get destroyed.


I know Cloverfield is one of those movies you either love or hate, I love.  Either way, the idea of an adolescent monster rising from the oceans and wreaking havoc in New York City is just awesome.  He has no agenda, no goals in life.  He's a scared, hurt kid who doesn't understand what's going on.  The fact he takes out most of city, bites the head off The Statue of Liberty, and kills hundreds of people is just a bonus.


Godzilla, the biggest example of a monster who can't make up his mind.  Sometimes he's good, fighting other monsters.  Sometimes he's bad, leveling cities with his feet, tail and fire breath.  Either way he's a lot of fun to watch, though I don't think I'll be moving to Japan anytime soon.


The hilarious hit of 1984, The Ghostbusters, brought the wonderfully cute Say Puff Marshmallow Man.  The fact he could crush you beneath his gooey foot and may end up putting you on a stick over the campfire, made him even cuter.  If you run into him and don't have a rather large bonfire going, run the other way. 

17 comments:

sue laybourn said...

Ah, memories. 'Them' was the first monster film that really scared me. That may explain my horror of ants invading my house.
I'm glad you mentioned 'Clover'. Cloverfield is my favorite monster film of all time and Clover, my favorite monster, bless him and his separation anxiety.

bermudaonion said...

I avoid all monster feet - regardless of their size. This is a fun post!

Michelle (Red Headed Book Child) said...

What a terrifying list you have made! i am not familiar with them all but the Marshmallow Man always terrified me.

Blodeuedd said...

Lots of scary monsters there. I think I would add The Balrog too and well lots more, as always. Scary monsters are everywhere

Yvette said...

Too funny, Ryan. I love this list! It is especially apt for the season. I wouldn't want any of these monsters showing up in my neighborhood. :)

Though if I was really, really hungry, maybe the Marshmallow man might be a welcome sight. Ha!

I agree with you about KING KONG. Though I always cry at the end. So I will watch the movie only about halfway through and pretend the end doesn't happen.

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

I actually hate scary movies, but love monster movies. Don't know why. I have seen most of these and I still love them!!

Staci said...

I loved the original King Kong too and if I have to have a monster chasing me I prefer the Marshmallow Man!

StephanieD said...

Awesome list, Ryan!!! I loved Cloverfield right up until the end. One of the things I ask now when my son recommends a film in that genre is - It doesn't end like Cloverfield, does it?

Alexia561 said...

Awesome list! Them was really, really scary to a small child (me!) watching the late night Creature Feature flick! And one thing I never understood is where in the heck did Nancy get that giant bikini? *L*

LoriStrongin said...

Hahaha, okay this is an AWESOME post! Gotta love/fear Cthulhu, right?


Smiles!
Lori

Dakota Banks said...

Thanks for the great 10 list, Ryan. Sweet memories.

Jill said...

I just can't decide if my children are ready for Ghostbusters yet or not. Do youlet your son watch it?

Kaye said...

Fun post Ryan!! where's Mothra?

Melissa (My World...in words and pages) said...

You know I've always loved the Kraken from that movie! And the 50 foot woman! My goodness, I didn't think anyone ever watched those movies anymore. It's been years since I've seen them. Oh Ryan, you need to live closer to me so we could chat on these movies and kick back and watch them. :) Thanks for the memories!

Gwendolyn B. said...

oooo! There's some real goodies here! I haven't seen THEM in years, but I think I'll find it for this year. I see a couple that are new to me, too. I've never seen THE MIST and RODAN looks worth a peek. This was a fun post - thanks for sharing!

carolsnotebook said...

Great list, even though I've only seen a couple of them. Apparently I need to watch more monster movies.

Michelle @ The True Book Addict said...

Great post, Ryan! I love the original Clash of the Titans, despite the cheesiness! The remake just was not good. =O(

The Stay Puff Marshmallow man is priceless! Love me some Ghostbusters!

I will NEVER watch The Mist again! I just can't deal with that ending. I'm sure you know what I mean. =O(