Happy Halloween!

I wish everyone who is celebrating a spooky and safe Halloween!

 

Favorite Fictional Character --- Elvira

 

Jack-o'-lanterns are being carved, bats are hanging from the ceiling, and costumes are being finalized for Halloween night — just two more short days!

I’m sure a lot of us are also getting ready to watch our favorite scary movies (if you haven’t already started, like I have). I plan to spend Halloween night cuddled up in bed with the lights off, eating popcorn — a mix of butter and cheesy jalapeño — and watching way too many of those spine-chilling movies I love so much.

If you’re a horror-loving movie fan, there’s no way you don’t know tonight’s Favorite Fictional Character: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. Played by the effervescent Cassandra Peterson, Elvira is both a horror and pop culture icon.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a full episode of her various TV hosting gigs where she introduced those glorious B-movies — but she was everywhere in the ’80s and ’90s. It was impossible not to know who she was. When she co-wrote her own movie, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988), my lifelong obsession officially began.

Elvira is drop-dead gorgeous, flirty, sarcastic, and completely in control of her persona. Some may see a vapid creature of the night; I see a vamp of a woman whose intelligence shines through every wink and slyly biting quip. I honestly don’t know how anyone resists her charms. Elvira is — and forever will be — my Queen of the Night.

I’ll leave you now, as I have a few final preparations to make. Happy Halloween! 🎃

Wordsmithonia Radio - The Halloween Playlist!

 

When I saw that Billboard released a list of the 25 Biggest Halloween Songs of All Time, I was ridiculously excited. If you couldn’t tell, I’m a huge lover of all things Halloween — especially the music. I even have a Halloween playlist on Spotify, which you’re more than welcome to listen to while you do your last-minute prepping for the best night of the year.

That excitement, however, was quickly snuffed out once I saw the list for myself. Don’t get me wrong — there are some amazing songs on there — but a lot of them don’t exactly scream spooky or Halloween to me. So, I thought I’d share 10 of my own favorite seasonally appropriate songs with you all.

After taking a look at the list, let me know some of your favorites. 

 

One of the songs that both Billboard and I agree on is “Thriller” by Michael Jackson. If you’re of a certain age, I can almost guarantee you remember where you were when the video first premiered on MTV. It wasn’t just a music video — it was an event, and it set the bar for what music videos could be.

Halloween just isn’t Halloween without Bing Crosby crooning “The Headless Horseman” from The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad. That song has the perfect mix of swing and spooky, and every time I hear it, I can almost see that shadowy rider galloping through Sleepy Hollow all over again.

I absolutely adore Annie Lennox—I’ve yet to hear an album from her that I don’t go crazy for. Her version of “I Put a Spell on You” from her Nostalgia album is, hands down, my favorite take on the song. It’s sultry, haunting, and powerful in that uniquely Lennox way—equal parts elegance and menace.

When Grace is scurrying around, trying to find a hiding spot in Ready or Not, she has no idea what’s in store for her. Having “Hide and Seek” by Headquarters Music blasting through the house sets the perfect stage for the chaos and bloodshed to come.

I’m not sure any other song written for TV will ever top “The Ballad of the Witches Road” from Agatha All Along. The majestic energy that flows through as these powerful women blend their voices creates a truly spellbinding experience.

Obviously, “Spooks” by Louis Armstrong wasn’t written for Mickey Mouse’s The Haunted House (1952), but the two are such a perfect vibe when paired together. If anyone ever had the voice for Halloween music—with that deep, gravelly sound—it’s the legendary Louis Armstrong.

 

Screamin’ Jay Hawkins was the godfather of shock rock, with a voice that demanded to be heard. “Whistling Past the Graveyard” is my favorite of his — eerie, soulful, and just the right amount of unhinged.

I don't know if “Run, Rabbit, Run” by Flanagan and Allen was considered creepy when it first came out in 1939 — probably not, since it was even used as a lullaby — but it’s cadence has always given me the chills. It's appearance in Get Out (2017) sealed the deal, turning it from a cheerful ditty into something downright bloodcurdling.

 

"(Stop, Look & Listen) It's Halloween" by Pete Antell is a jazzy bop that’s so much fun to listen to while putting up your Halloween decorations or getting the candy ready for the monsters, superheroes, and princesses who will be knocking on your door in just a few short days.

When thinking about the last song I wanted to feature, I kept flipping back and forth between "People Are Strange" by The Doors and "Cry Little Sister" by Gerard McMann, the theme song from The Lost Boys (1987). I went with the latter because it sets the mood for the entire movie. It’s a hauntingly beautiful, melancholic song with a slightly Gothic tone, perfectly capturing the ’80s zeitgeist.

Come Knocking by Mike Bockoven

 

Synopsis From Dust Jacket:

When Come Knocking came to Los Angeles, the interactive theater production that took over six floors of an abandoned building was met with raves, lines for tickets, and reviews calling it the "must-see experience of a generation." But after dozens of people were killed and hundreds injured on a bloody night of chaos during the shows run, the nation was captured by one inescapable question: How could this happen?

As the dust settles, investigative reporter Adam Jake's is tasked with uncovering the truth behind the massacre. Through a series of interviews with survivors, cast members, and witnesses, Jakes pieces together the chilling reality behind what was supposed to be the ultimate theatrical experience. 

Somehow I missed—despite it being boldly stated on the cover—that Come Knocking was written by the same author who wrote Fantasticland, a book that’s been on my TBR for a very, very long time. Told through a series of interviews, Reddit posts, voice memos, 911 calls, and the occasional letter, Come Knocking explores the events that led up to more than fifty people being murdered on the night of March 14th.

I was going to talk about the structure of the novel, the play/performance itself (I would’ve loved to experience the show firsthand), and the way the author manages to make each voice distinct and believable. Instead, I want to touch on the not-so-subtle social commentary woven through this heartbreakingly violent act born of rage and pain.

I think most of us are aware of just how mean-spirited the internet has allowed people to become. As a society, we hide behind our screens and usernames, giving ourselves permission to use hurtful, hateful, extreme, and occasionally violent rhetoric when dealing with people or works of art we consider to be the “other.” It seems we can no longer have a civil discussion on most platforms, largely because we’ve segregated ourselves into online communities that think like us and hold the same “values” — values we see as superior to those of the “other” groups we now view as the enemy. That kind of online self-radicalization saturates the narrative of Come Knocking. This was not an act of violence that could have happened twenty years ago.

To a lesser extent — as the real motivation isn’t revealed until the end — the other piece of commentary I want to touch on is probably a bit more controversial. This violent act, like too many of our real-world tragedies, was ultimately born from abuse and trauma that was never treated or taken seriously. Come Knocking may be fictional, but it fits a pattern we’ve all come to recognize. When massive, extremely violent acts are inflicted on the public, we often chalk them up to “mental illness,” yet almost no one asks what caused that illness or what pushed someone to lash out this way. An abusive or violent past can’t excuse what a person does—but how can we ever start preventing such acts if we refuse to address their roots?

What I don’t want you to think is that the social commentary gets in the way of the story—because it doesn’t. The author is skilled enough to let the story tell itself, allowing all these themes to resonate without overwhelming the narrative. It’s a story that’s both violent and heartbreaking, and it’s made all the more frightening by how real it feels. When I finished reading, it took me a few minutes to remind myself that this was fiction—because it felt all too real.

If Fantasticland comes even close to the emotional impact Come Knocking had on me, I really need to move it up on my TBR pile.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero

 

Synopsis From Back Cover:

In 1977, four teenagers and a dog—Andy (the tomboy), Kate (the nerd), Kerri (the bookworm), Peter (the jock), and Tim (the Weimaraner)—solved the mystery of Sleepy Lake. The trail of an amphibian monster terrorizing the quiet town of Blayton Hills led the gang to spend a night in Deboën Mansion and apprehend a familiar culprit: a bitter old man in a mask. 

Now, in 1990, the twentysomething former teen detectives are lost souls. Plagued by night terrors and Peter's tragic death, the three survivors have been running from their demons. When the man they apprehended all those years ago makes parole, Andy tracks him down to confirm what she's always known, they got the wrong guy. Now she'll need to get the gang back together and return to Blyton Hills to find out what happened in 1977, and this time, she's sure they're not looking for another man in a mask. 

Does anyone of a certain age not love Scooby-Doo? How many of us grew up watching Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy, and Scooby run through spooky mansions catching thieving butlers and shady real estate developers? I own the entire series of Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! and my favorite episode of Supernatural is the one where they’re sucked into a Scooby-Doo cartoon. I even own all the Funko Pops! I’m saying all this to explain why, when I found Meddling Kids at Barnes & Noble, I bought it faster than a cat lapping chain lightning.

Based on the blurb, I was expecting a more adult version of the Scooby gang. I wanted a story that delivered the humor I’d expect, blended with some genuinely scary happenings. I wanted higher stakes and real monsters. What I wasn’t expecting was a full-on Lovecraftian horror story that was hilarious and still managed to make these “kids” feel fully human—flaws and all—rather than the cardboard cutouts this sort of story usually serves up. I mean, let’s face it: as much as I love Scooby-Doo, I’m not expecting a lot of depth from the gang while we’re all haunting out.

Stylistically, reading this was a fricking blast. It regularly switches between second and third person, slips from traditional prose into play format (complete with stage directions), and includes some brilliantly made-up words that the author seems to have invented on the fly. If that sounds like utter chaos—it is. And I loved every single word of it. If any book should be chaotic, it’s a violent Lovecraftian Scooby-Doo send-up that somehow had me laughing out loud and contemplating life, sometimes on the same page.

I had such a good time reading this book that it reminded me of being a kid again—curled up on the couch, watching Scooby and Shaggy get used, once again, as bait in one of Fred’s elaborate traps. It was both nostalgic and refreshingly new at the same time. I’m just hoping we either get a sequel or, even better, a movie. That’s one I’d absolutely be there for on opening night.

Favorite Fictional Character --- Grace Le Domas

 

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but I’m a huge horror movie fan. At last count, I own over 500 physical movies, and I believe it’s safe to say that almost 70% of them are horror. Hell, it might even be more than that. When I go to the movies, nine times out of ten, it’s going to be a horror film. I saw Good Boy two weekends ago (and yes, the dog will absolutely get his own FFC post). This weekend, I think I may go see Shelby Oaks.

One of the best times I’ve ever had in a theater was in 2019 when I watched Ready or Not. For those of you unfamiliar with one of the greatest horror comedies of all time, let me set the stage. Samara Weaving plays our heroine, Grace Le Domas. She’s just married into a rich and powerful family who made their fortune through games—and a little secret deal on the side. When someone marries into the family, the newlywed has to draw a card from an ancient box in the family’s game room. Whatever game is drawn, everyone must play. When Grace pulls her card, it reads Hide and Seek.

Grace, like most of us would, assumes it’ll be a harmless game—she hides, someone finds her, everyone laughs, and the night ends. But she quickly learns that if she’s found, the seeker gets to kill her. If she survives until sunrise, she wins… and the rest of the Le Domas family loses. And trust me, they really, really don’t want to lose.

Grace is one of those characters you can’t help but admire in a huge way. She’s thrown into a situation that most people wouldn’t be able to handle. I’d like to think I have the same fire inside me that she does. Realistically, I’d probably be curled up in a ball, waiting for my time to come. She’s resourceful, quick-thinking, adaptable, and has a pain tolerance I’m downright jealous of. Grace is the kind of character who embodies the inner strength I want for myself. She’s amazing—and I revisit her story at least once a year. Hopefully, you’ll choose to meet her soon yourself.

And yes, I know I was being a little facetious with my opening line—because let’s be real, this isn’t the first (or the last) time I’ve mentioned my love of horror.

Yes, Daddy by Jonathon Parks-Ramage

 

Synopsis From Dust Jacket:

Jonah Keller moves to New York City with dreams of becoming a successful playwright, but for the time being he lives in a rundown sublet in Bushwick, working extra hours at a restaurant only to barely make rent. When he stumbles upon a photo of Richard Shriver—the glamorous Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright and quite possibly the stepping-stone to the fame he craves—Jonah orchestrates their meeting. The two begin a hungry, passionate affair. 

When summer arrives, Richard invites his young lover for a spell at his sprawling estate in the Hamptons. A tall iron fence surrounds the compound where Richard and a few of his close artist friends entertain, have lavish dinners, and—Jonah can't help but notice—employ a waitstaff of young, attractive gay men, many of whom sport ugly bruises. Soon, Jonah is cast out of Richard's good graces and a sinister underlay begins to emerge. As a series of transgressions lead inexorably to a violent climax, Jonah hurtles toward a decisive revenge that will shape the rest of his life. 

This was not an easy book for me to read, nor is it going to be an easy review to write. Before I start sharing my thoughts on Yes, Daddy by Jonathan Parks-Ramage, I want to lead off with some of my own background to give you an idea of why this book was such a hard one to get through — though I’m so damn glad I did. I’m saying all this because I’m going to talk about subjects that aren’t always easy to read or listen to, so I want to give you an out before continuing. I’ll just be hitting the highlights of my past as they pertain to this book, but there will be no graphic descriptions. If you want to skip that part and go straight to my thoughts on the book, feel free to start after the first three paragraphs.

When I was in Head Start, I had a babysitter who molested me and some of the other kids in her care. The rest of my childhood went like this: a woman tried to get me into her car; a man followed me into a public restroom and tried to get me to open the stall door; an old man I’d just met started rubbing my shoulders and back; a couple who befriended me kept talking about taking me to California to “make a lot of money”; and a boy my age kept trying to pull down my pants for months because he thought I was stuffing them. All of that happened before high school.

As an adult, I lived through two rapes — both by the same man, a few years apart. Later, an ex-boyfriend began dating my rapist and called me a liar when I told him why their relationship hurt me so much. I’ve had my drink spiked twice. I’ve had my butt and crotch grabbed more times than I can count — by both men and far too many women. I’ve been made to feel like all I was worth was what was between my legs. I’ve been given nicknames that referred only to my anatomy, and because I’m a man, I was expected to be flattered by it. I laughed along and let it happen, all while my self-esteem sank lower and lower. I’ve been stalked, choked, and hit. I’ve pretended it didn’t matter — that the harm didn’t last — but it did.

I tell people I’ve been single and celibate for almost two decades now by choice, and for the most part, that’s true. Mostly, it’s because I haven’t put myself out there or met anyone who made me want to change that. But the truth is, I also don’t fully trust myself to make the right decisions when it comes to men. I’ve accepted things I never should have, all because I needed to feel like I was worth something.

I knew going into Yes, Daddy that it would be a difficult read — that it would stir memories and emotions I’ve mostly dealt with but will never completely escape. I don’t remember how I first heard about it, but I do remember reading reviews and realizing that, painful or not, I needed to read this book. I won’t say it was a transformative or cathartic experience, but it did help me process some of the lingering guilt I still carry.

I don't think it's possible to put into words how this book made me feel. I had to put it down for days at a time before I was emotionally ready to pick it back up. The fact that a book so beautifully written can capture such horrific trauma, guilt, and survival is beyond me. The author’s command of language is a true pleasure to experience, and I hope he continues to write.

Jonah, like too many of us, grew up in a world that devalues his life simply because he’s a gay man. He was raised to believe that who he is makes him an abomination, that he has no value to society — and though he survived his childhood, the emotional scars remain. Unfortunately, those scars leave him vulnerable to manipulation by a man who knows exactly how to push the right buttons to trap him in a situation with no easy escape.

Because of the way Jonah sees himself, he falls for Richard’s charm, words, and gifts. He believes the promises, even when they’re never kept. He ignores the warning signs because he wants to believe this older, powerful man truly cares for him. When you’re starved for affection and validation, you’ll do whatever it takes to maintain the illusion — even when it’s falling apart.

I’m not going to go into what Jonah endures; right now, I don’t have the mental strength to put myself back in those pages. Instead, I want to focus on Jonah’s strength — the way he ultimately finds the courage to break free from his abusers. It’s not easy; it’s messy and painful. But he gets out. And by the end of the book, there’s the beginning of something like peace, thanks in large part to finally receiving the love and acceptance of his father — a need that, I think, drove many of his earlier choices.

Jonah, even at his lowest, is a character I absolutely love and relate to in ways I’ve never experienced with another character. I admire him deeply for seizing back his power and beginning to build a healthier life. He’s not perfect — none of us are — but pointing out his flaws here would feel too much like victim-blaming, which I find abhorrent, especially having experienced it myself. 

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to read this book again, but it’s one that will remain on my shelves for the rest of my life. It’s a story that demanded to be read, and I’m glad I listened. This book means more to me than I can ever truly express. I think anyone who has lived through abuse will find something in Jonah’s journey that resonates — something that might help them feel seen, or a little less alone. While this is a story told through a gay lens, and there are dynamics unique to our community, I don’t think you need to be a gay man to connect with Jonah’s pain or his strength. Yes, Daddy is a book for anyone willing to sit with the rawness of survival and the possibility of healing.

Horseman by Christina Henry

 

Synopsis From Back Cover:

Everyone in Sleepy Hollow knows about the Horseman, but no one really believes in him. Not even Ben Van Brunt's grandfather, Brom Bones, who was there when it was said the Horseman chased the upstart Crane out of town. Brom says that's just legend, the village gossips talking.

More than thirty years after those storied events, the village is a quiet place. Fourteen-year-old Ben loves to play Sleepy Hollow boys, reenacting the events Brom once lived through. But then Ben and a friend stumble across the headless body of a child in the woods near the village, and the sinister discovery makes Ben question everything the adults in Sleepy Hollow have ever said. Could the Horseman be real after all? Or does something even more sinister stalk the woods?

This review has taken me longer to write than I expected—and not because I didn’t absolutely adore the book (I did). It’s not that I wasn’t fascinated by the characters either; they’re still living rent-free in my soul. I hope I made that clear when I chose Brom Bones for a Favorite Fictional Character post. It’s also not because Christina Henry didn’t craft one of the most unputdownable books I’ve held in a long time. I honestly read until I was too damn tired to keep my eyes open.

What I’ve struggled with is how to review this book without spoiling anything. The plot points I most want you to discover for yourselves are so tightly woven into the fabric of the story that discussing them at all would give something away. And that would be, to borrow a phrase, a crying shame.

What I can say is that this is Ben’s story, and at fourteen, he commands it in a way that many adults can’t manage. He’s not perfect—he makes bad decisions, often because he has the emotional and mental maturity of a typical kid his age—but he’s also a young man who knows who he is and how he fits into the world around him. He's one of those rare young characters I can't help but look up to. 

I also want to briefly touch on how impressed I am with the author’s ability to build upon an existing classic while making it completely her own—without compromising the original material or making it feel small or dated. Horseman feels like a natural continuation of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow—a continuation I hope you’ll read for yourself.

Favorite Fictional Character --- Michael Emerson

 

I’m not even going to pretend I picked Michael Emerson from The Lost Boys for any reason other than the fact that I had a massive crush on him during my adolescent years. I’m actually a little tongue-tied as I’m typing this because, while I’m not embarrassed to admit it, I feel like I should at least try to come up with one profound reason why I think he’s so damn dreamy.

Sorry—hot.

Holy hell, that’s not right either. What I meant to say is that I’m picking him for the way he’s always there for his brother, and for how he stepped up to help his newly single mom. Or maybe because he’s fearless when protecting his family from a nest of rampaging vampires. Actually, that just makes him even more attractive. So, I guess what I’m really saying is that I picked him because at one point in my life, I wanted to jump his bones.

Look at those eyes and tell me you wouldn’t get lost in them. Tell me you wouldn’t want him gazing into your eyes as you tell him about your day—really listening, not pretending. You wouldn’t want to run your fingers through his hair as he rests his head in your lap while you binge your favorite show, just because he knows that’s what would make you happiest in that moment?

I double dog dare you to even try to deny it. 

There’s no way you wouldn’t want to fall asleep next to him, knowing he’d keep you safe from any vampire trying to stake their claim.

I’m 49 now — no longer that kid with hearts and fangs in his eyes. But if Michael showed up on his motorcycle, looking at me like that, I won’t be responsible for my behavior.

10 Candies I’d Snag If Adults Could Trick-or-Treat

 

I think it’s ridiculously unfair that adults aren’t allowed to go trick-or-treating. We work all day, pay bills, go to doctor’s appointments, put gas in the car, and try to make responsible decisions. If there’s any group of people who deserve to let their hair down and just enjoy a night of spooky frolicking, it’s us.

I want to dress up as the Lone Ranger, Sam, or even Eeyore, then walk the streets ringing doorbells and collecting all the free candy I can carry.

So, since society frowns on grown-ups trick-or-treating (for reasons I still don’t understand), I’ll just live vicariously through this list instead.

With that said, here are ten candies I’d want more than anything else on Halloween night.

I love the classic KitKats and wouldn’t be mad if that’s all I got, but nothing beats the flavors coming out of Japan. My favorite is the milk tea, though I’d happily gobble up the wasabi just as fast.

Take 5 has to be my current favorite candy bar and has been since it first debuted. This delicious concoction is packed with pretzels, chocolate, peanut butter, caramel, and peanuts. The only thing missing is potato chips.

Butterfingers are just about the perfect candy bar, and I absolutely loved them as a kid. Bart Simpson may be an annoying character, but he’s right about this one. I don’t even care when it gets stuck in my teeth.

You can keep your Almond Joys. I’ve always thought the nut throws the texture off—it’s like putting rocks in marshmallows. All you need is chocolate and coconut. So I’ll trade you my Almond Joys for your Mounds.

Did you know that if you bite into the right cookie, it looks different than when you bite into the left one? I thought I was seeing things when I first noticed it, but then I looked it up and discovered they do it on purpose. All that really matters, though, is that Twix is so freaking good.

Junior Mints are so versatile. I put them on my mint chocolate chip ice cream, and I’ve also been known to toss them into popcorn, mixed nuts, or even Greek yogurt with sugar-free chocolate pudding mix. Naturally, they’re just as good all by themselves.

Snickers weren’t a candy bar I enjoyed as a kid, but now I like them a lot. I think it helps that once they started making the ice cream bars, I couldn’t get enough of them.

Heath is another candy bar that wasn’t on my childhood radar. As an adult, whenever I’m craving Christmas crack but feeling too lazy to make it, I’ll just head to the store and grab a bar or two.

Nestlé Crunch is perfection in a little blue wrapper. How anyone doesn’t thoroughly enjoy that snap when you break a bar in half—or get all giddy inside when that crisped rice hits your tongue—is beyond me. It’s just that fun to eat.

We finish this list with a childhood classic: the Dum Dums. I mentioned in a list I did about my favorite Halloween candy in fifth grade that the root beer Dum Dums were my favorite—and they still are—but I’m also a sucker for butterscotch. So if you happen to get any root beer or butterscotch–flavored Dum Dums this year, I’ll gladly take them off your hands.

Clown in a Cornfield by Adam Cesare

 

Synopsis From Dust Jacket:

When Quinn and her father move to a tiny town with a weird clown for a mascot, they're looking for a fresh start. But ever since the town's only factory shut down, Kettle Springs has been cracked in half.

Most of the town believes that the kids are to blame. After all, the juniors and seniors at Kettle Springs High are the ones who threw the party where Arthur Hill's daughter died. They're the ones who set the abandoned factory on fire and who spend all their time posting pranks on YouTube. They have no respect and no idea what it means to work hard.

For the kids, it's the other way around And now Kettle Springs is caught in a constant battle between old and new, tradition and progress. It's a fight that looks like it will destroy the town. Until one homicidal clown with a porkpie hat and a red nose decides to end it for good.

Because if your opponents all die, you win the debate by default.

I’ve only been to Albuquerque, New Mexico once in my life—and that was more than enough. I don’t remember the exact year, but it was sometime around seventh or eighth grade, back when my family was traveling with a carnival. I hated that stop from the moment we pulled in. Within a day, my left eye had swollen shut, and I was forced to wear an eye patch. Spoiler alert: it’s not nearly as fun as pirates make it look.

The third night we were there, after the midway had shut down, my younger brother and I got hungry and decided to walk three blocks to what I think was a Whataburger. We were passing what looked like a car lot when a dog rushed the fence. We bolted across the street—and that’s when I saw what was in the window of the building we’d just reached. I immediately turned around and ran right back across. I’d rather take my chances with a guard dog than face a creepy-ass mechanical clown moving in a store window in the middle of the night.

I don’t like clowns. I never have. They’re wrong in a way that gets under your skin. There’s something about those painted faces—those fixed smiles—that hides whatever’s really underneath. Look at John Wayne Gacy. That’s reason enough. I hate them so much that a friend once bought me a shirt that said, Can’t sleep. Clowns will eat me. They thought it was funny. I thought it was prophetic. 

Once, at a Hometown Buffet, a clown came in to make balloon animals. I left mid-meal, plate still full. I wasn’t about to sit there while that greasepainted demon floated toward my table. Clowns are my boogeyman.

Now, I do better when the clowns are fictional—on a page or a screen. Since they’re not physically in my space, I can manage. In a perverse way, I even enjoy testing the limits of what I can handle when it comes to dealing with them. Naturally, since I don’t have to look at them, I prefer reading about those murderous fiends from hell. Clown in a Cornfield by Adam Cesare is chock-full of them.

I won’t go into too many details because I don’t want to spoil the blood-soaked fun, but I will say this: the body count is massive—at least 33 people die, many by crossbow. The book is bloody without being gory, something I’m eternally thankful for. I love horror, but I’ve never been a fan of gore for gore’s sake. The humor is dark (which is probably why I loved it so much), and the queer representation is surprisingly good—without falling into the “bury your gays” trope that annoys the hell out of me.

It’s a lot of fun for a teen slasher novel. The author clearly loves the genre and plays with its tropes in a way that feels fresh instead of tired. I had an absolute blast reading it, and while the movie version was enjoyable, I—unsurprisingly—prefer the book. Now I just need to read the sequels.

And just in case you were wondering, the reason my eye swelled shut in Albuquerque was because of mountain cedar, which is everywhere there. I didn’t find that out until much later, when I had an allergy scratch test done where I now live—far from New Mexico. Apparently, the winds blow the pollen all the way here, which is why they test for it. That little test spot swelled to the size of a fifty-cent piece and stayed that way for a week. So yeah—Albuquerque will be a city I never visit again.

Favorite Fictional Character --- Abraham "Brom Bones" Van Brunt

 

It’s not often that I change my mind about a character, but a book I finished last night has me seeing Brom Bones in a whole new light. Within twenty minutes of reading the last page, I found myself rewatching The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad, and I honestly think Ichabod got what he deserved. Brom did what he had to do to protect Katrina—and his own heart—from that gold-digging schoolmaster.

Now, I’ll admit, I haven’t actually read The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving yet, but I plan to fix that soon. The book that sent me down this rabbit hole was Horseman by Christina Henry. I haven’t written my full review yet, but it’s coming—so keep an eye out.

If you’re not too familiar with Brom, he’s basically the local hero of Sleepy Hollow, this quiet little village that doesn’t get many outsiders. Then along comes Ichabod Crane—the awkward, lanky schoolmaster with a bottomless appetite—who somehow decides he’s going to win over Katrina Van Tassel, the local beauty and daughter of the richest farmer in town.

Naturally, that doesn’t sit well with Brom, who’s been in love with Katrina since they were kids. And while he knows Katrina is just using Ichabod to make him jealous, he decides to make sure Ichabod gets the message loud and clear. Maybe scaring a man half to death was a bit much—but honestly, I can’t say I blame him.

In Horseman, which takes place a few decades after his run-in with Ichabod, Brom is older, a grandfather now, but still completely in love with Katrina. His family is everything to him. He’s still got that same temper and swagger, but it’s mellowed with age. I don’t want to say too much yet—I’m saving that for the review—but I really hope you’ll check out Horseman and maybe, like me, find yourself looking at Brom Bones in a whole new way.

Episode Thirteen by Craig DiLouie

 

Synopsis From Back Cover:

Fade to Black is the newest ghost hunting reality TV show. Led by husband-and-wife team Matt and Claire Kirklin, it features a dedicated crew of ghost hunting experts. 

Episode 13 takes them to every ghost hunters holy grail: the Paranormal Research Foundation. This crumbling, derelict mansion holds secrets and clues about bizarre experiments that took place their in the 1970s. It's undoubtedly haunted, and Matt hopes to use scientific techniques and high-tech gear to prove it.

But as the house begins to slowly reveal itself to the crew, proof of an afterlife might not be everything Matt dreamed of. 

I’ve been in love with found footage horror ever since I first saw The Blair Witch Project back in 1999. Since then, I’ve watched everything from the movies that show the genre at its best—like Gonjiam: Haunted Asylum, The Taking of Deborah Logan, and Hell House LLC—to the ones that make me roll my eyes, like Apollo 18 and Classroom 6. Truthfully, even when they’re bad, I almost always have so much fun watching them.

So when I first heard about Episode Thirteen, I was a tad bit skeptical. How could a movie genre I love so much possibly translate to the page? But here’s the funny thing—it’s the book’s flaws that made me love it even more. Those rough edges, that slightly chaotic structure… they gave the story the same immersive, jittery energy that makes found footage films so addictive.

If you’ve seen even a few of the more popular found footage movies, you already know the formula: a group of people make terrible choices, the camera keeps rolling, and eventually someone finds their footage because—well, no one made it out alive. And yes, the book follows that tradition in terms of the body count. But unlike a lot of movies in the genre, I didn’t find everyone annoying. In fact, I grew really fond of Matt and Jake. By the end, they’d joined the short list of horror characters who genuinely broke my heart—right up there with the narrator from Security by Gina Wohlsdorf.

The story unfolds through journal entries, emails, text messages, video transcripts, and interviews, which perfectly captures that chaotic found footage rhythm. One moment it’s frantic and terrifying; the next, it slows to a crawl, letting the dread seep in. It was those journal entries that really got me, though—they made Matt and Jake feel so real that I couldn’t help rooting for them, even knowing it wouldn’t end well.

By the time I reached the final pages, I was completely wrecked. Episode Thirteen nails everything I love about the genre: the tension, the intimacy, the creeping feeling that I shouldn’t be reading what I’m reading.

If you’re a horror fan, especially one who loves the found footage style with all its chaos and nerve-shredding suspense, this is one book you absolutely need to read.

Ten of the Sexiest Screen Vampires, Volume 7

 

Halloween has, over the years, crept past Christmas to claim the title of my favorite holiday. There’s just something magical about October: the nights grow cooler (even if the days are still too darn warm), the leaves shift into fiery shades, and my already horror-loving heart gets to revel in all things spooky. Because of that, I’ve decided to resurrect some of my old Halloween traditions here on the blog. And what better place to start than with the return of my annual list of sexy vampires? If you missed my earlier posts rising from the crypt, you can revisit the lists from 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, and 2014.

Without further ado, I give you ten damn sexy vampires who’d love nothing more than to sink their teeth into you.

The Men

Vlad Dracula as played by Luke Evans in Dracula Untold (2014). Not going to lie, Luke Evans is just about the hottest man on the planet, and I would let his version of Dracula do just about anything to me. 

Louis de Pointe du Lac as played by Jacob Anderson in AMC's Interview with the Vampire. He's broody, emotional, and from all accounts a hell of a kisser. Brad Pitt's version as already appeared on these lists, but I think this version runs laps around him. 

Remmick as played by Jack O'Connell in Sinners (2025). Between his Irish accent and singing like a dream, Remmick is a catch. He's looking for a family, and he might just decide you'd fit right in. 

Edward Dalton as played by Ethan Hawke in Daybreakers (2009). Smart and sexy is always a winning combination. 

Raphael Santiago as played by David Castro in the TV show Shadowhunters. A religious family man to his core, Raphael loves with a conviction few others posses. It helps that he's hot too. 

The Women

The Girl as played by Sheila Vand in A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014). An avenging angel who won't tolerate men mistreating women, The Girl is both gorgeous and deadly. Side note, if you've never seen this movie, do so. 

Mary as played by Hailee Steinfeld in Sinners (2025). Mary is walking contradiction of emotions, both vindictive and loving, Mary is just wanting to be loved by a man who will stay. Isn't that what we all want? 

Darla as played by Julie Benz from the TV shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. Darla has the soul of a demon, but loves hard despite it. And she's smoking hot.

Lucy Weston as played by Frances Dade in Dracula (1931). As kind as she was beautiful, Lucy caught the eye of Count Dracula, and she was never the same again. 

Marya Zaleska as played by Gloria Holden in Dracula's Daughter (1936). Regal in manner Countess Zaleska commands attention, and she gets it. 

The Sing Out, Louise! Tournament Has A Winner!

 We chose a winner of the Sing Out, Louise! Tournament over on the Facebook page.

The winner is... Mary Poppins (1964)

Favorite Fictional Character --- Sam

 

If I posted pictures of all the Sams in my room right now, you’d probably think I have a screw loose—maybe even two. On my bed, there’s a fleece blanket at the foot of it and a pillow shaped like his head mixed in with the rest of my pillows. On my headboard sits a sidestepper that plays music and laughter from the movie. In a cubby of my TV stand, I’ve got a lunchbox and four Funko Pops. Hanging over my curtains is a rather large wall banner. I also have a pair of slippers, two pairs of socks, and about six plastic water cups. In other words: I’m obsessed. Spirit Halloween is basically my favorite store this time of year.

I should probably stop assuming you know who I’m talking about and fill you in on the greatest modern-day horror character: Sam.

Sam is the central figure in Trick ’r Treat (2007), a Halloween-themed horror comedy built around four interconnected stories, all of which feature him in some way.

On the surface, Sam looks like an ordinary kid dressed for trick-or-treating. But underneath that burlap mask is an adorable little demon who enforces the rules of Halloween—violently. The rules are simple:

• Always wear a costume.
• Always hand out treats.
• Never extinguish a jack-o’-lantern before midnight.
• Always respect the dead.
• Never take down decorations before November 1st.
• Never harm the innocent.

Follow those, and you’ll survive the night. Break them, and Sam will make sure you don’t live to see Thanksgiving.

Sam is one of those characters I can’t help but love, even if he’s maybe one I shouldn’t. Sure, he’s technically evil—but he’s also just following his own moral compass, protecting the greatest holiday in existence. So I’m willing to make some allowances. It doesn’t hurt that he’s absolutely adorable, quite possibly the cutest horror character ever created.

 

It's currently on HBO Max and for rent on Apple TV and Prime Video. 

I also wanted to thank Michelle of The True Book Addict for redoing my Favorite Fictional Character post images for both Halloween and Christmas, I absolutely love the new ones. I'm actually thinking about asking her to redo the weekly image as well.