Monday, July 7, 2014
Who Would You Do? by Susan Segrest
Synopsis From Back Cover:
Who Would You Do? is both a humor book and a provocative parlor game. The premise is simple: Author Susan Segrest puts forward a celebrity sexual scenario, and the reader (or group of readers) has to choose who to ravish. The result is a wildly addictive fantasy, perfect for bachelorette parties, evenings out with friends, or a day at the beach.
The range of choices is mind - and gender - bending, spanning all walks of life. Who would you do? The Pope or the Dalai Lama? Would you rather have a day at a nude beach with Ben Affleck or a night in the dark with Matt Damon? Who would you rather see perform at your local strip club - Rue McClanahan, Betty White, or Bea Arthur?
Who Would You Do? is omnisexual, perfect for men or women, straight or gay. There are male/male choices (Will Smith or Tommy Lee Jones) and female/female choices (Heather Locklear or Heather Graham), as well as a few mix-and-match options (Madonna or Bon Jovi) thrown in just for fun.
Saucy and irresistible, Who Would You Do? combines three of American's favorite leisure activities: celebrity watching, reading, and sex.
I can't remember when I got my hands on this book, but it's been a few years at least. It was published in 2003, and some of the celebrities in the book are dated to that era, but I'm pretty sure it was at least 2006 or 2007 before I got it. I don't even remember if I bought it at a discount store, or if a friend got it for me. What I do remember was how frickin hilarious it was when I first started to go through it. Some of the scenarios had me laughing so hard, I almost peed my pants a few times.
It had been a few years since it's seen the light of day, or had the dust blown off of it, but the sheer boredom of recovering from surgery prompted me to dust it off, and give it a go. I actually messaged a few friends with some of the scenarios, without explaining why, and at first I think they thought I was losing it. They answered them anyway, and when I explained where I was getting them from, they kept asking for more. I'm not sure how often I'll pull the book back out, but it was nice to play along with the author for a few hours.
And since I know you are dying to play, I'm going to give you a few of the scenarios out of the book, and we will see what your choices are.
1. You've been invited to attend a neighborhood garden party that in addition to offering a nice game of croquet also includes some tasteful wife swapping. Which couple would you like to "visit" with first: Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, or Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards?
2. You've just graduated form the Anna Nicole Smith Institute with a major in the Ancient Art of Seducing Rich Older Men and a minor in complexities of Inheritance Tax. (You've also invested in collagen-injected lips, store-bough double-D's, and triple-processed blond hair.) Now that you are ready for the big time, which of these gazillionaires would you like to wrangle: Ross Perot, Donald Trump, or Bill Gates?
3. You are in the middle of a hot-'n'-heavy sex session with, er, yourself when in walk Angela Lansbury, Debbie Reynolds, and Billy Graham. "I can explain," you stammer, trying to come up with a perfectly reasonable justification as to why your pants are around your ankles. But it's no use. Who would you rather have been caught by?
4. You are invited to a menage a trois with Felix and Oscar or Laverne and Shirley. Who's it gonna be?
5. Who would you like to have futuristic, slow-motion, technology-enhanced sex with: Keanu Reeves or Laurence Fishburne?