Favorite Fictional Characters --- Lee Stetson and Amanda King

 

It’s probably fair to say I was more than a little nerdy as a kid. I was that kid who wanted to read through my great-grandma’s set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, then quiz the adults around me on what I had just read. I could get lost in a book or TV show to the point the rest of the world ceased to exist. Some of that was due to the dysfunctional way I was raised by my mom — a childhood that forced me to learn how to entertain myself. But I think I still would have been a Brainy Smurf–level nerd even if I had had a “normal” childhood.

I truly believe I was born gay — and a nerd. Even as an adult, I read anywhere between 350 to 500 books a year, and my Funko Pop! collection is just a little excessive. Even my taste in TV would have been a dead giveaway. Perry Mason and Murder, She Wrote were must-watch television, and so was Scarecrow and Mrs. King.

Anchored by the crush-worthy Bruce Boxleitner as suave secret agent Lee Stetson and Kate Jackson as divorced housewife Amanda King, Scarecrow and Mrs. King was the kind of show I wanted to be in when I grew up. Like a lot of us, I was fascinated by the idea of being a spy, and I devoured every episode I could. Yes, the missions they went on were a lot of fun to watch — but it was Lee and Amanda who truly captured my attention as a kid, a fondness that has carried over into my adulthood.

They aren’t the kind of couple who fall instantly in love. In fact, I’m pretty sure annoyance and exasperated amusement were the predominant emotions they initially felt for each other. But even then, the chemistry between them lit up the screen. There was something about their partnership that grabbed your attention as a viewer, even at my tender, impressionable age. The annoyance eventually turns into respect and admiration, but it’s when they both realize there’s a spark between them that they truly become a couple worthy of a happy ending.

For a kid who found comfort in books and television, Lee and Amanda weren’t just characters — they were proof that even unlikely partnerships can grow into something lasting. Maybe that’s why they still matter to me. Their slow-burn story taught a lonely, nerdy kid that love doesn’t always arrive in a flash; sometimes it builds quietly and steadily, until you realize it’s exactly what you’ve been waiting for.

Favorite Fictional Character --- David Rose & Patrick Brewer

 

It’s February, the month of love, so to celebrate Cupid and all of his shenanigans, I’m going to be shining a spotlight on some of my favorite couples.

But first, I’m going to whine for a moment. Loudly. The flu strain going around right now is absolutely nothing to play with. It’s been days since my fever finally broke, and I’m still not feeling like myself, which is why I’ve been mostly MIA online the last few weeks. I am more than ready to feel normal again. I’m also incredibly grateful I got my flu shot in October, because I honestly can’t imagine how miserable I’d be without it.

Okay. Whining over.

Let’s get back to why we’re here: my favorite couples of all time. Last February, the Facebook page ran a tournament dedicated to these special pairings, and David Rose & Patrick Brewer walked away with the title of favorite fictional couple of all time.

And really, how could they not?

David & Patrick are the heart and soul of Schitt’s Creek. From the public, tear-inducing serenades to one of the most adorable hiking proposals ever put on screen, they are pure relationship goals. They support and complement each other perfectly. Where one is weak, the other is strong. Where one is scattered, the other is solid. They are each other’s home—something many of us spend a lifetime searching for.

Watching David and Patrick feels like a reminder that the right person doesn’t fix you—they meet you where you are and walk beside you anyway. That kind of love is rare, and it’s one I’ll happily believe in every time.

Libeled Lady (1936)

Synopsis From Rotten Tomatoes:

When a major newspaper accuses wealthy socialite Connie Allenbury (Myrna Loy) of being a homewrecker, and she files a multi-million-dollar libel lawsuit, the publication's frazzled head editor, Warren Haggerty (Spencer Tracy), must find a way to turn the tables on her. Soon Haggerty's harried fiancée, Gladys Benton (Jean Harlow), and his dashing friend Bill Chandler (William Powell) are in on a scheme that aims to discredit Connie, with amusing and unexpected results. 

There are few on-screen pairings that will ever come close to the chemistry shared between William Powell and Myrna Loy. Watching the way they play off each other is almost a cinematic religious experience. I remember the first time I watched The Thin Man (1934) and how utterly enchanted I was by them. I was so enchanted, in fact, that I immediately went out and bought The Thin Man box set, which included all six films. When I finished those, I went on to watch all fourteen movies Powell and Loy made together between 1934 and 1947. That’s the kind of hold they have on me.

Their wit and playful banter are in full display in Libeled Lady (1936), a classic screwball comedy with romantic hijinks thrown in for good measure. It’s a fast-paced romp packed with more marriages than you can count, a barrage of one-liners flying through the air like heat-seeking missiles, and a fishing scene that has me laughing so loudly I’m convinced they can hear me seven counties over.

The chemistry between Powell and Loy is already a force to be reckoned with, but when you add Jean Harlow and Spencer Tracy into the mix, it becomes something truly special. The four of them work so effortlessly together that it’s no surprise Libeled Lady earned a Best Picture nomination, ultimately losing to The Great Ziegfeld—another William Powell and Myrna Loy film, no less.

The pace of the movie is exactly why this review is going to be short on specifics and heavy on demands that you go watch it for yourself. I’m struggling to single out moments without giving anything away, and this is very much a movie best experienced firsthand. If for no other reason, watch it to see William Powell and Myrna Loy at the absolute peak of their powers. You won’t regret it.

Hold My Hand, It's Christmas by K.C. Wells

Synopsis From Goodreads:

Best. Pickup line. Ever.

Eli Winters wasn’t expecting romance to strike between aisles of lumber and LED reindeer. He’s just home for the Thanksgiving weekend, helping his sister with her bakery and trying not to drown in the town’s over-the-top Christmas cheer. Then, in Home Depot’s lighting section, a handsome stranger grabs his hand and says, “My ex just walked in—please, play along.”

Before Eli can protest, they’re strolling past garlands and wreaths like the world’s most domestic couple. It’s not until the stranger disappears that Eli realizes: there was no ex. Just the most ridiculous—and effective—pickup line ever.

Noah Carter didn’t plan to lie. He’s the town’s perpetually cheerful event coordinator, always smiling, always “fine.” But the truth is, the holidays have felt hollow for a long time. One impulsive moment in a hardware store changes everything.

When Eli’s sister ‘volunteers’ him to help Noah organize the Christmas Festival, sparks turn into something deeper. Amid tangled lights, late-night cocoa, and small-town gossip, Eli and Noah discover that sometimes the best love stories start with a little pretending.

Because when it’s Christmas—and your heart’s finally ready—you don’t just hold someone’s hand.

You hold on.

If Look Up, Handsome was a low-angst romance, Hold My Hand, It’s Christmas has about as much angst as a perfectly prepared picnic—one you didn’t have to plan—in the most idyllic location your imagination can come up with. You’re there with the man/woman of your dreams, and they are everything you ever hoped they’d be. There is absolutely no tension, miscommunication, or misunderstandings between Eli and Noah. They both experience a little self-doubt, but I don’t think there’s a single human being alive who doesn’t have a twinge or two of self-doubt when first meeting someone. I refuse to call that angst, especially since neither of them lets it keep the completely besotted looks off their faces when they glance at each other. This is the most angst-free romance book I’ve ever read, and because it’s a Christmas book, I’m absolutely here for it.

This was instalove on steroids, a trope that—when done wrong—can leave you with incredulous thoughts floating through your mind as you read the most ridiculous nonsense ever put on paper. But when done right, when written by an author who knows exactly what they’re doing, it feels like a perfect spring day, lying on the fluffiest blanket ever woven, stretched out beneath an old apple tree. The branches form a canopy that blocks just the right amount of sunshine as you stare up at puffy white clouds, picking out the ones that look like bunny rabbits and puppies. In other words, when instalove is written right, it leaves you with the happiest feeling in the world, and you buy into every single word and glance the two MCs exchange. Hold My Hand, It’s Christmas is a perfect example of this, a story that leaves you believing in love at first sight, soul mates, and the magic of Christmas.

Challenges: Yuletide Spirit 

Look Up, Handsome by Jack Strange

Synopsis From Goodreads:

Quinn wants to save his bookshop, the last thing he needs is to fall in love…

Hay-on-Wye’s only queer bookshop is always a hive of activity. So when it’s threatened with closure, its owner Quinn Oxford is determined to do whatever it takes to save his beloved shop.

That is until romantic novelist Noah Sage arrives in town. Gorgeous, brooding and clearly unhappy to be there, Noah is the distraction Quinn doesn’t need. Noah has a history with Hay and it’s one he’d rather not face. But when the snow leaves him stranded, he’s left with no choice.

Hay is a small town, meaning Quinn can’t help but bump into Noah wherever he goes. And as the two grow closer together, is it possible that Noah’s feelings towards Hay will thaw? Can Quinn have a real-life romance and save his beloved bookshop? Or will he need a Christmas miracle…

When I signed up for the Yuletide Spirit reading challenge, I bought a whole stack of Christmas mysteries and a ghost story anthology, and I haven’t read a single one of them. Instead, I’ve been reading Christmas romances and binging a truly impressive number of Hallmark-ish holiday movies. Apparently my brain had one plan, but my heart (or soul) needed something else entirely this holiday season.

There’s a blurb on the cover of Look Up, Handsome that calls the book a love letter to bookstores, and it’s the most accurate blurb I’ve ever read. Kings & Queens is the type of bookstore I’ve always wanted to own myself — except mine would be full of mysteries and ghost stories, with a huge queer section. It’s the kind of place where you could spend hours wandering the shelves before settling into a chair and getting lost in an author’s world. More importantly, it’s the kind of bookstore that builds community.

It’s the place a parent struggling to understand their child’s sexuality or changing gender identity can go to find answers — and people willing to listen. It’s where someone questioning their own sexuality might find guidance and insight into what they’re feeling, hopefully leading to self-acceptance. It’s a gathering place for anyone who needs to find their people, their tribe, somewhere they can feel welcomed and protected. It’s the kind of place every LGBTQ+ person needs in their life, even in this age of social media.

After writing that last paragraph, I'm not sure where to go next with this review. I can't find a smooth transition, especially after typing and retyping a few sentences that never felt worthy — or even necessary — to what I was trying to say. I’m not ashamed to admit I feel a little lost.

So let’s do this instead: I’ll simply say that I adored this book for exactly what it is.

It’s a low-angst romance between two people who, despite living in a world of words, don’t communicate particularly well at first. Quinn, who opened his bookstore in memory of his father, has been a little lost since his dad died. He loves the world he’s built for himself, but he’s also been living his life somewhat passively. Noah, on the other hand, despite his success as a gay romance author, has allowed the past to dictate the terms of his life. So consumed by what happened to his family when he was a child, he’s chosen extreme avoidance as a coping mechanism.

I’m not saying they aren’t fully realized characters — because they absolutely are — and I loved them both, even if I liked Quinn just a tiny bit more. I enjoyed them as individuals, but I absolutely adored them as a couple.

I have one more Christmas romance review left to write for the challenge, which still leaves me one book short of my five-book goal unless I manage to squeeze one more in. Either way, I still have a respectable stack of seasonal mysteries waiting for next year. Assuming, of course, I don’t get to them before then.

Challenges: Yuletide Spirit 

The Nightmare Before Kissmas by Sara Raasch

 

Synopsis From Back Cover:

Nicholas “Coal” Claus used to love Christmas. Until his father, the reigning Santa, turned the holiday into a PR façade. Coal will do anything to escape the spectacle, including getting tangled in a drunken, supremely hot make- out session with a beautiful man behind a seedy bar one night.

But the heir to Christmas is soon commanded to do his duty: he will marry his best friend, Iris, the Easter Princess and his brother’s not-so-secret crush. A situation that has disaster written all over it.

Things go from bad to worse when a rival arrives to challenge Coal for the princess’s hand…and Coal comes face-to-face with his mysterious behind-the-bar hottie: Hex, the Prince of Halloween.

It’s a fake competition between two holiday princes who can’t keep their hands off each other over a marriage of convenience that no one wants. And it all leads to one of the sweetest, sexiest, messiest, most delightfully unforgettable love stories of the year.

Most of my romance reading happens on my tablet. At first, that was because I was slightly embarrassed to be seen in public reading a romance novel, and hiding a cover is infinitely easier when the book is digital. The only other solution I could think of was creating false dust jackets for physical books, and honestly, I’m just not that crafty. These days, it’s mostly practical: Kindle Unlimited makes my romance reading a hell of a lot cheaper. I do still buy physical copies occasionally, but it’s usually my favorite Mary Calmes books — the ones that, for whatever reason, feel like they belong both on my shelves and on my tablet.

The Nightmare Before Kissmas is one of the very rare exceptions I’ve made to those unspoken rules. Last December, while browsing Barnes & Noble, I wandered past the romance table — something I always do, even though it’s almost entirely straight romances. Every now and then, though, there will be one or two gay romance titles mixed in, and that December, The Nightmare Before Kissmas was one of them. Without any real conscious decision-making, my hands reached out, and before I fully processed what was happening, I was at the counter paying for it. And then it sat on my shelf for a full year, patiently waiting to be read.

I knew going in that it would be cute. I mean, it’s the Crown Prince of Christmas falling for the Crown Prince of Halloween — the cuteness is baked right into the premise. What I wasn’t expecting were the political machinations underpinning the story, particularly a Santa so consumed by grief and anger that his own children become pawns in a larger power struggle. I also wasn’t expecting to be just as invested in that surrounding story as I was in the romance itself. And the romance, for lack of a better word, was absolutely adorable.

Coal and Hex aren’t exactly champions of communication, but given their roles within their respective holidays and the immense familial expectations placed on them, that feels not just believable but inevitable. They’re clearly right for each other, and it’s impossible not to root for them as they try to carve out space for themselves beyond what duty demands. Since the story is told entirely from Coal’s perspective, we only see the relationship through his eyes, but he’s refreshingly honest about his own flaws — particularly his rebellious streak, which has caused more than a little chaos in the past. Over the course of the book, Coal does a great deal of growing up, driven partly by his relationship with Hex, but mostly by his desire to repair the damage his father has inflicted on Christmas and the other winter holidays.

I absolutely adored Coal and Hex, and while I know they’ll appear again in later books, I’m already sad to leave them behind as the main protagonists — especially Coal. Not someone I’ll admit to developing a crush on, but definitely someone for whom I gained a tremendous amount of respect.

Challenges: Yuletide Spirit

The Geek Who Saved Christmas by Annabeth Albert

Synopsis From Goodreads:

Gideon Holiday is the perfect neighbor. Need a cup of sugar? Spare folding chair? Extra batteries? He’s always ready to help. And he’s waited years for his hot, grumpy, silver fox neighbor, Paul, to need him. For anything. But this December, Gideon would be happy if he could just get the Scrooge-like Paul on board with the neighborhood holiday lights fundraiser.

Paul Frost has no intention of decking his halls or blazing any Yule logs. Even if his spunky bowtie-clad neighbor does look perfect for unwrapping, Paul would prefer to hide away until December is done. But when his beloved younger brother announces an unexpected visit, Paul needs all the trimmings for a festive homecoming—and fast.

Luckily, Gideon is there with a color-coded plan to save Christmas. Soon Paul’s hanging lights, trimming trees, and rolling out cookies. And steaming up his new flannel sheets with Gideon. How did that happen?

It’ll take some winter magic to preserve their happiness and keep these rival neighbors together longer than one holiday season.

I love Christmas movies to the point that I start watching them on November 1st. I have my favorites — the ones I own and rewatch every year — like Christmas in Connecticut (1945), which I watch in bed as if the season depends on it, or The Ref (1994), which I watch every Christmas Eve while wrapping presents.

Since the point of this post is to write a clever review that entices you to read The Geek Who Saved Christmas by Annabeth Albert (and for the record, I kind of suck at reviewing romance novels), I won’t give you a full list of every Christmas movie and TV special I own, though I reserve the right to do that at a later date. The reason I brought up movies at all is to highlight my absolute addiction to Hallmark-ish Christmas movies of all stripes, and how badly I want to see this book adapted into a TV movie. If there was ever a Christmas romance begging to be told on the small screen, it’s this one.

We have one MC who’s the type to run around helping others — volunteering, pitching in, and coming to the rescue more often than not. He has plenty of friends, but he keeps himself busy because he never quite feels like he fits or fully belongs in their lives. The other MC is the grumpy, slightly standoffish neighbor who doesn’t interact much with anyone, mostly because he’s hiding some hurt of his own. Neither of them had stellar childhoods, and both are sitting on a deep well of insecurity. All of which makes them perfect for each other.

There’s a reason clichés and tropes work so damn well in romance. What Annabeth Albert achieves with them in The Geek Who Saved Christmas is pure rom-com gold, and I’m already craving more. Stories like this don’t usually change your life or alter the way you see the world, but that’s not what I want from most romance stories I pick up or choose to watch. I want to feel good the entire time I’m reading. I want to root for the couple, coo and sigh every time one of them does or says something sweet, get a little angsty when communication breaks down, and then cheer out loud when they finally end up on the same page again.

I got all of that here. I felt all of that while reading Gideon and Paul’s story. This is the perfect holiday romance.

Challenges: Yuletide Spirit

Favorite Fictional Character --- Jory Harcourt-Kage

 

Way back in 2010, I had a conversation with a few other bloggers about the sheer number of straight female authors writing m/m romance. I had no clue such a phenomenon was happening, and I was even more surprised to learn most of the readers were also straight women. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it—especially when I’d occasionally come across reviews that felt like the reviewer was fetishizing us. We have enough problems; I didn’t need a new one. Eventually, Mandi of Smexy Books talked me into reviewing one, and in September of 2011, I read and reviewed my first.

I was new to romance in general, and while that first book didn’t quite work for me for several reasons, I was willing to keep exploring the genre. It’s been a wild, occasionally chaotic ride over the last fourteen years. Since then, I’d say over 50% of my reading is m/m romance featuring every archetype imaginable: cowboys, Navy SEALs, hockey players, cops, bikers, werewolves, vampires, firemen, PIs, FBI agents, royalty, magic users, and spies. I quickly learned which authors I preferred, and while I do think the gay men writing in this genre feel more realistic, it is romance. It’s not supposed to be realistic.

One of those favorite authors is Mary Calmes. She’s one of the few writers whose new releases I will automatically buy, and a huge part of that is Jory Harcourt-Kage, the star of her A Matter of Time series. Jory is a character you will either adore or despise—there’s no in-between. He’s the kind of man who will give you the shirt off his back; if you were ever once a friend, he’ll drop everything to help you. He has a huge heart, and he doesn’t just wear it on his sleeve—it’s perched on top for the entire world to see it beating. His story is not meant to be factual; it is one of the most gloriously over-the-top romances I’ve ever read. If you don’t have a strong willingness to suspend your sense of disbelief, Mary Calmes is not the author for you.

But that same enormous heart is what gets Jory into trouble. It makes him a react-first, consequences-later person. He puts himself in danger constantly, convinced he’s protecting someone else. He’s been kidnapped, mixed up with gangsters and the mafia, nearly killed more than once, chased kidnappers, solved murders, been hunted by assassins, and was even paralyzed for a while. What amazes me most is that none of it has changed him. He’s still one of the most trusting characters I’ve read in decades. He gives almost everyone the benefit of the doubt, and he loves his family fiercely. He will do anything to protect them.

I absolutely adore Jory, his husband Sam, their kids, and their entire found family. He’s a character I revisit every year just to feel at home. And writing this has made me want to visit him again sooner rather than later.

Murder Under Contract by Alex Henry

 

Synopsis From Goodreads:

There’s a gruesome start to the day for DI Leon Peterson when he’s called to an airline catering company: the boss has been knifed in his own kitchen. With few people seeming to regret his passing, Leon is spoilt for suspects. But witnesses are by turns defensive, distraught, and drug-addled, leading to frustrations for his newly-formed and sometimes fractious team.

Pressure to solve the case is piled on by Leon’s new boss – who happens to be his controlling ex-lover. Just as Leon thinks he has his murderer, one shocking discovery is followed by another, this one too close to home. Now he struggles to deal with family fall-out, with striking parallels to his case.

Poor Leon just cannot catch a break in this third installment. After being missing for decades, his father’s body has finally been discovered—and, as it turns out, the murderer might be a little closer to home than anyone could’ve guessed. The new case on his desk is horrifically bloody, and not a single person seems willing to cooperate. His brand-new team is fragile (too many personalities in one room), and he’s hoping against hope they come together before they implode. And if that wasn’t enough, his emotionally abusive ex is now his boss—and still thinks he can pull Leon’s strings like he used to. All this while Leon’s just trying to hold onto a new relationship.

If I were Leon, I’d have checked myself into a padded room by now, begging the world for a year of peace and quiet. But Leon handles it all with a kind of quiet strength that I can’t help but admire—though there’s definitely a little bit of avoidance mixed in for good measure. He’s the type of detective whose mind works methodically, clue by clue, until the whole picture forms (and that picture is never wrong). He throws himself into every case, whether it’s considered “important” or not, guided by an unshakable moral center. Watching him work is genuinely a pleasure.

Leon’s a joy to spend time with, and the people around him (well, not the ex) are just as compelling. The cases keep me hooked, and I find myself fully invested in every twist and turn. Here’s hoping Leon catches a break soon—but honestly? I kind of hope he doesn’t, because I never want this series to end.

Murder Under Ground by Alex Henry

 

Synopsis From Goodreads:

DI Leon Peterson’s Christmas at home is interrupted by the discovery of a body practically on the police station doorstep—but who would brutally stab Paul Easton, a popular youth worker, in the station’s underground car park, and why would suspicion fall on DS Jasmine Todd?

As they work over Christmas and New Year, Leon is forced to bring in other detectives, not all of them welcome additions. They soon realise there’s more to Paul Easton and his life than meets the eye. Conflicts within the team extend both on a personal level and how they view the suspects. No one appears to be who they seem.

For Leon, this case hits home in more ways than one. Yet again he revisits his past as they hunt for Paul Easton’s killer. Meanwhile, he has his own decisions to make regarding his future in the force.

There’s a scene in this book that could have been pulled straight from The Wire—chaotic and violent, with bullets flying and buildings burning. I wasn’t expecting that level of intensity in the second book of an LGBTQ+ police procedural with a hint of a budding romance, but it works. The moment comes about halfway through, and yet it sets the tone for the entire book. The overarching mystery is darker than the one in Murder Under Construction, giving the story higher stakes.

Even with that darker backdrop, it’s Leon and the people around him who make the book shine. Leon is quickly becoming one of my favorite modern detectives. I love spending time with him, watching how he works with his team, and seeing how his determination pushes him forward. He’s not a genius on the level of Poirot or Holmes, but he doesn’t need to be—his persistence, loyalty, and instinct for justice make him just as compelling.

Two books in, I find myself admiring Leon more with each case. If book three continues in this direction, I’ll be falling even deeper in love. 

Murder Under Construction by Alex Henry

 

Synopsis From Goodreads:

Under the flight path, more than one secret is about to emerge…

On the brink of closing a high-profile terrorism investigation, DI Leon Peterson and his team are pulled off to investigate a cold case, a body found on a site for a new airport hotel. He knows this is political posturing, but it doesn’t make it easier to accept watching another DI muscle in on his team’s work.

For Leon, though, the decades-old cold case turns out to be closer to home in more than one way. His DS, Jasmine Todd, can’t understand his interest in the dead man, and Leon is not sure he wants to talk about his past. One thing he fears is that he may have a very personal connection to the deceased. Will the body finally give him the answers he’s waited for nearly forty years?

Even as some shocking revelations come to light, Leon can’t help being distracted by the terrorism case. He’s convinced the new DI in charge is chasing the wrong lead, and his conscience won’t let him leave it alone. No matter if it risks his career—and his life.

If you couldn’t tell from what I said about my reading habits over the last few years in my review of How to Solve Your Own Murder, I’ve been reading a lot of books that could be classified as romance—despite the vehicle the author chose to develop the romance. It could be a locked-room mystery, a tale of vampires or shifters, a story set on a ranch or at a rodeo, or, in the case of Murder Under Construction, a police procedural.

What I thoroughly enjoyed was how little the romance was the focus of the story. Instead, the author chose to center the mystery itself and Leon’s internal personal life to propel the narrative forward. I relished every second I spent with Leon as a character—getting to know his conflicted relationship with his family, right down to his grudging love of the two cats sharing his space. I enjoyed the way his mind works as he puzzles out the targets of the bombings or why there’s a decades-old dead body in a condemned pub.

It’s in Leon that this book truly shines, and why I’ll continue the series. The mysteries themselves are simple without being boring. I just wish there were a little more complexity involved, but I understand that with two separate investigations, neither was able to be fleshed out as much as I would have preferred. I plan on seeing how the second book goes before I start getting too picky about how the author handles the mystery element.

As for the romance itself, it doesn’t even begin until the last few pages. While I’m curious to see if it develops further, it won’t be what keeps me turning the next page. It feels like the romance will remain in the background, which I’m more than okay with. I’ll wait to see whether it unfolds more in the vein of the Dave Brandstetter or Evander Mills books, or if Leon’s love life will chart its own course forward.

Timing by Mary Calmes

Synopsis From Publisher:

Stefan Joss just can't win. Not only does he have to go to Texas in the middle of the summer to be the man of honor in his best friend Charlotte’s wedding, but he’s expected to negotiate a million-dollar business deal at the same time. Worst of all, he’s thrown for a loop when he arrives to see the one man Charlotte promised wouldn’t be there: her brother, Rand Holloway.

Stefan and Rand have been mortal enemies since the day they met, so Stefan is shocked when a temporary cease-fire sees the usual hostility replaced by instant chemistry. Though leery of the unexpected feelings, Stefan is swayed by a sincere revelation from Rand, and he decides to give Rand a chance.

But their budding romance is threatened when Stefan’s business deal goes wrong: the owner of the last ranch he needs to secure for the company is murdered. Stefan’s in for the surprise of his life as he finds himself in danger as well.

I do have to quickly mention that I'm not a huge fan of the cover, and it has since been re-released with a new own, but this is the cover I own, so I'm sticking with it. Truthfully, the cover could be a big black square, a blob of orange and purple paisley, or a picture of a root canal, and I would still read this book over and over again.

Mary Calmes is one of those authors that should be a household name, and if she wasn't writing m/m romance novels, she probably would be. She's that damn good. I've read, and reread multiple times, every book she has had published, and there isn't a weak one in the bunch. There is a soft lyrical quality to her writing, where not one single word is wasted or unneeded. But where she excel is in her characters. In Stefan and Rand, she achieved perfection.

Don't get me wrong, they aren't perfect, they have their flaws and annoying personality traits. There are things about them that would drive me up a wall, if not into the funny house, but that's okay. Their perfection lies the fact that they are some of the most concrete, four dimensional characters I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I'm including the side characters in this when I say the beauty of her characters is how "real" they feel. One of my biggest pet peeves is when a character acts in such a manner that feels unnatural to who they are. Even when it's a small issue, something so miniscule other readers may not even notice, it's enough to pull me out of a story. I've never had that issue with her books. Stefan, Rand, and all the rest, even when they surprise me, never act in a way that betrays who they are.

I adore Stefan and Rand. The tensions that surrounds them in the beginning is tangible, and it only builds as they truly get to know each other. They are the kind of people I would love to be friends with, but am under no illusions I'm worthy enough of their notice. Their relationship is organic, and beautiful to watch. It's the kind of story movies are made of, but since that won't be happening anytime soon, I'll just keep rereading their story instead, which does include two more books after this. Now I just need to find a man that talks the way Rand does.

And since I know you were curious, this is the new cover with Rand in all his glory.

The Haunting of Timber Manor by F.E. Feeley, Jr.

Synopsis From Publisher:

While recovering form the recent loss of his parents, Daniel Donnelly receives a phone call from his estranged aunt, who turns over control of the family fortune and estate, Timber Manor.  Though his father seemed guarded about his past, Daniel's need for family and curiosity compel him to visit. 

Located in a secluded area of the Northwest, Timber Manor has grown silent over the years.  Her halls sit empty and a thin layer of dust adorns the sheet-covered furniture.  When Daniel arrives to begin repairs, strange things happen.  Nightmares haunt his dreams.  Memories not his own disturb his waking hours.  Alive with the tragedies of the past, Timber Manor threatens to tear Daniel apart. 

Sheriff Hale Davis grew up working on the manor grounds.  Seeing Daniel struggle, he vows to protect the young man who captured his heart, and help him solve the mystery behind the haunting and confront the past - not only to save Daniel's life, but to save his family, whose very souls hang int he balance. 

You guys know I love a good Gothic, haunted house story.  There is nothing like getting lost in an house that plays with your head, forcing you to see things that aren't there, turning you into a blithering cry baby, huddled in the corner of the smallest closet you can find. Timber Manor is as devious and mind warping as Hill House, and almost as violent and blood thirsty as Belasco House.  It's a house full of the most damming family secrets.  They are the kind of secrets that slither through time, wrapping the present inhabitants in a shroud of despair and death.  It's the kind of house that I've always wanted to live in, but I've never been sure if I would have the spine needed to do so.

Daniel is one of those guys, that as soon as they appear on the page/screen, you instantly love them. He is the guy you want to root for, the guys you pray survives until the end of the movie.  In Hale, he finds the perfect partner, someone to love and watch over him, and the guy who will protect him from the buried past roaring back through time.

The author did a freaking fantastic job at framing his story, creating a fully realized world that wasn't hard to picture in my head. This is one of those books that I would do almost anything to see adapted to the big screen.  The entire time I was reading it, every single page appeared in celluloid glory in my head.  I'm pretty sure my wishes here won't ever be realized, but a boy could dream.

Murder Most Yowl by Quinn Dressler

Synopsis From Publisher:

Cat-sitting is a dangerous business.

Cameron Sherwood turned his back on law enforcement the night his investigation lead to the death of an innocent gay man.  Now Cam spends his time running a business that caters to his favorite animal, cats.  But when Cam stumbles upon the body of a friend while feeding her feline, he can't walk away.  Dealing with a sexy yet stubborn sheriff, a matchmaking sister, and a terrifying blind date, Cam must somehow track down a killer, all while keeping the cats around him fed with is gourmet cat treats. 

Let's be frank.  As much as I love a fiendishly plotted mystery, there are times I just want to read something that I don't have to think too much about.  I want there to be a mystery component, but I don't want to strain my little grey cells trying to figure out who the killer is.  I know that this is where you guys are going to start yelling at me, reminding me of my usual distaste of cozy mysteries, and you would have a valid point.  And I'm going to invite you to keep yelling at me after I say this next bit.  In my experience, most "mainstream" cozy mysteries are about as cookie cutter as you can get.  Half the time I can't tell you who the author is, because they all read the same.  The plotting, character development, and writing style all blend together, creating a very forgettable mess.  There are exceptions to that, and there are even a few authors I do enjoy, Rhys Bowen's series with Lady Georgina being one of them. For the most part though, I tend to have to go into the realms or romance to find the type of light, fluffy mystery I can get into, specifically m/m romance.  I'm sure there are some terrific m/f romance mysteries out there, but if I'm going to read romance, I want it to be relevant to my own life experiences.

And before I get yelled at anymore, I'm not saying all m/m romance mysteries are of the light and fluffy kind, because they aren't, not by a long shot.  I absolutely love the Life Lessons series by Kaje Harper, have been blown away by several Josh Lanyon books, and could name another twenty authors I've enjoyed who take a more detailed, plot driven approach to their mysteries.  But that's not the kind of mystery I felt like diving into when I picked Murder Most Yowl.  I wanted cotton candy, and I got it.

The mystery itself is barely structured, doesn't make a whole lot of sense by the time it's solved, and required me to suspend my disbelief on multiple occasions.  And I loved it.  It's has a quirky sense of humor that I found charming, and two leading men I found to be a blast to hang out with.  In Cam and Jake, I found two headstrong men that just seemed to fit together.  I can't imagine witnessing what Cam did when he was on the force, and come out sane.  I would have more than walked away from my career, I would have walked away from my life, and started over on some beach in Brazil where nobody knew me. In partnering with Jake to solve the murder, he is able to come back to himself a bit, which makes the love that develops between them that much sweeter. My one quibble with the romance is in the way the author broke the tension between them, which in turn allowed them to accept their feelings for each other.  The way it's handled was about as realistic as the mystery component, but strangely I'm okay with it.  When it comes to reading a romance, I don't want real life, I want fantasy.  If I wanted real life, I would read Ulysses by James Joyce, or some other tedious volume that nobody actually reads.

Security by Gina Wohlsdorf

Synopsis From Dust Jacket:

Safety. Luxury. Manderley.

Manderley Resort is a gleaming, new twenty-story hotel on the California coast.  It's about to open its doors, and the world - at least those with the means to afford it - will be welcomed into a palace of opulence and unparalleled security.  But someone is determined that Manderley will never open.  The staff has no idea that their every move is being watched, and over the next twelve hours they will be killed off, one by one. 

I'm going to try and do this without spoilers, but I'm going to be honest upfront, and admit that I may not be able to do that. The simple truth is that I absolutely loved this book, and while I need to convince you guys to read it, I want to keep some of the book's secrets, secret.  My dilemma is this, in order to really get across why I loved this book so much, I'm going to have to talk about one particular aspect of the book, but if I do it too much, I'm going to be talking out of school, so please forgive me know if I spoil anything for you.  Now that I got that rambling out of the way, I'll continue one with my review, slash love letter to this book.

I'll be the first to admit that this book will not be for everyone.  Some of you will not want to read this, no matter how much I end up gushing about it.  In a nutshell it is a gory, violent slasher movie transferred to the page  The victims die brutal deaths, and there are a lot of bodies by the time the action is wrapped up.  Body parts are hacked off, copious amounts of blood get splashed about, and one poor sap is finished off in a clothes dryer.  The violence is not subtle, nor is the author shy in describing it.

If the violence doesn't work as an automatic turnoff for some of you, I think others may be annoyed by the storytelling technique used to relate the narrative.  Manderley, I will get to the name in a second, is a world class hotel, with world class security.  That security includes security cameras, including audio, both visible and hidden, and there isn't a square foot of the hotel they don't show.  All the action is narrated by someone who has access to those cameras, and at times the page splits into sections, as more than one camera is being spoken of at the same time.  It can be jarring at first, but as long as you pay attention to what's going on, and you notice that each chapter starts with the cameras being viewed, you will quickly catch on.

If you could see the blurb at the top of the cover, you would see that it ends with calling this book a wrenching love story.  The dust jacket calls it a multifaceted love story unlike any other.  I would call it one of the most heart breaking and, at the same time, life affirming love stories I've ever read.  It's in this aspect of the book where the spoilers are going to come into play, so I apologize once again, but I'm not going to be able to help it.  And I'm going to be rather wordy, so proceed with caution.

Part of the reason I wanted to read this book, was the reference made, not only in the title of the book, but on the dust jacket as well, to Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier.  I've already mentioned the fact that the book is narrated by someone who has access to the surveillance monitors, and is able to see everything going on in the hotel.  In the beginning, you aren't sure what role he/she actually plays in the mayhem going on.  At first, I thought he/she was in on it, but that is disproved about a third of the way in.  It's in that nameless narration, in the secrets revealed, and in it's heartrending love story that du Maurier's influence is most heavily felt.

Our narrator is in fact the head of security for the hotel, all of  the security detail are ex special forces type individuals.  The security office on the 20th floor was actually the first spot hit by the killers, and they were all wiped out pretty quickly.  One of them escaped the office, only to be gutted like a fish not long after.  The narrator has a rather large knife nested in between two of the vertebrae in the neck, enough to paralyze, but not enough to kill.  It's through those eyes that we see what's going on, and learn about the hotel staff.  It's through those eyes that we get to see what kind of people the victims are, their back stories, their personalities, and their loves.  We get to hear the audio of their conversations, but only after it's filtered through the narrator's brain.  It's through the narrator's eyes that we see them cheat, love, and die.  It's because of the narrator that we feel anything for the victims at all.

The vast majority of the reviews I've seen, ignore the love story aspect of this book, and when they do mention it at all, it's dismissive of the relationship they are talking about.  Two of the people trapped in the hotel survive the night, and they have a long and complicated backstory. It's a story fraught with pain and regret, and when they come face to face with each other, for the first time in years, there is a lot to be worked out between them.  Their story, their love story to be precise, should not be ignored or dismissed as meaningless sex, or pushed aside because of their complicated past.  It's a powerful force for both of them, and it's what helps keep them alive.  For me though, it's not their love that drives the story.  Instead it's the love the narrator feels for one of those characters that is the core of this book, and it's the one aspect of the book I haven't seen any review touch upon.

The narrator, who truly does love the other character, is forced to watch them surrender to the love of someone else.  The narrator is given no choice but to watch them make love to someone else, and to hear their relationship described as merely physical, a way to pass the time, and one that was incapable of moving any further.  The narrator, who was thinking marriage, was confronted with the idea that they were only a placeholder.  By the end of the book, it's obvious that the character, I'm trying so hard to not name, cared for our narrator, but not in the same way.

So put yourself in our narrator's shoes.  You are paralyzed and playing possum, sitting in a room with one of the killers, who is also watching the video cameras, and you are not only watching your love slip through your fingers, but you are forced to watch the person you love, fight to stay alive.  You would rage at the unfairness of it all, you would probably shed a tear or two, and your heart would be breaking into a million pieces.  I think a lot of us would have given up, moved the distance needed to finish the job the killer started, and slip into oblivion.  Instead, our narrator does everything they can to help the other two characters out, not only helping them to survive the night, but to have the love and life together that the narrator once dreamed of.  By the end, the narrator has surrendered the life they once dreamed of, so another can have it.  I would like to think I would have done the same thing, that I wouldn't have given into my pain and rage at my world crumbling down, but I'm not sure I would have the strength of character to do it. The narrator is a true example of what a literary hero is supposed to be, and I'm so glad I met them. By the end of it all I was more than half in love with our nameless narrator.  This is a character that will always stay with me, they are snugly nestled in my heart and mind, and I'm more than okay with that.

Frog by Mary Calmes

Synopsis From Publisher:

Weber Yates's dreams of stardom are about to be reduced to a ranch hand's job in Texas, and his one relationship is with a guy so far out of his league he might as well be on the moon.  Or at least in San Francisco, where Weber stops to see him one last time before settling down to the humble, lonely life he figures a frog like him has coming. 

Cyrus Benning is a successful neurosurgeon, so details are never lost on him.  He spotted the prince in a broken-down bull rider's clothing from day one.  But watching Weber walk out on him keeps getting harder, and he's not sure how much more his heart can take.  Now Cyrus has one last chance to prove to Weber that it's not Weber's job that makes him Cyrus's perfect man, it's Weber himself.   With the help of his sisters' newly broken family, eh's ready to show Weber that the home the man' been searching for has always been right there, with him.  Cyrus might have laid down an ultimatum once, but now it's turned into a vow - he's never going to let Weber out of his life again. 

Every once in a while, you come across a book that makes you feel as if you are wrapped in a warm cozy sweater on a harsh winter day, lounging on a couch as you drink hot cocoa, safe and secure from the storm raging outside.  They are books filled with characters that make you feel right at home, surrounded by your nearest and dearest, enveloped by the love that only they can give you.  They are the books you escape into when you need to pretend the outside world no longer exists, that the fantasy playing out on the page is more real than what's outside your front door.  From the first time I read Frog by Mary Calmes, I knew that it would become one of those books for me.  After a half dozen or so readings, it just keeps getting better.

A large part of my love for this book revolves around the way the author writes.  It's in the way she structures her scenes, builds the world her characters inhabit, and in the loving way she brings her characters to life.  This is an author, and I've read quite a few of her books by now, that loves her characters as much as the reader does.  It shows in their personalities and in the way they interact with each other.  It shows in the way they think for themselves, and in the growth they develop.  They are fully formed, four dimensional characters.  They are characters that have a past, present, and future.  They are people that you not only want to be around, but they are men that you want to be.

Weber and Cyrus are perfect examples of what I'm talking about.  Weber is about as perfect of a man as I've come across in all the fiction that I have read.  He is kind, considerate, fearless, loving, gentle, caring, affectionate, comfortable in his own skin, and kids & animals adore him.  He should come across as a stock character, barely discernible from every other romantic lead out there, but he doesn't.  He shines instead.  He is his own unique self, struggling to accept the idea that the man everyone else sees, is not the man he thinks he is.  Weber is that perfect man, who has no clue of his worth to those around him.  He is a man who lost both parents at en early age, then lost the brother who raised him to a war nobody should have been fighting.  He is a man who sees himself in one light, and has come to peace with his version of reality, but doesn't seem to fathom that he is so much more than that.  Through the course of this book, and I leave the details on the how out, he comes to accept that not only is he worthy of loving someone, of building a life with someone, but that he is worthy of that love and that life.

Cyrus is pretty damn perfect too, except that man that Weber knows, is not the man that anyone else seems to know.  Cyrus is that guy who has been responsible his whole life, serious at work and at home.  It's only with Weber that Cyrus really seems to embrace all that life has to offer, and not just the success granted by working hard playing smart.  Where with everyone else, including his family, he's loving but distant, with Weber he has no walls, he is the man he is supposed to be, not the man he is expected to be.  What both men need to accept, and they do by the end, is that regardless of who they think they are, they are so much more than that.  They both learn to see themselves the way others do, and by embracing that reality, they are able to move forward together.

Final Admission by Sue Brown

Synopsis From Publisher:

When Ethan Williams lands a job at Bingwell, Brock and Bacon, he realizes his coworkers aren't exaggerating about James Trenchard.  He really is a dick.  But after Ethan is forced to work closely with James, he realizes there's more to the lawyer than meets the eye. 

Vibrant Ethan is a desperate reason to live again as James endures silent guilt and abuse from his husband after an accident.  He calls Ethan for help after a beating, and stolen moments soon become the norm, but they can't hide forever. 

Ethan's coworkers think he got his promotion because James is sweet on him, James is still being beaten despite his family's concern, and the situation is swiftly becoming intolerable.  Ethan and James need to find a way out of the cycle that's hurting them both before their brand new loves suffers a well. 

I'll be the first to admit, that when I first started reading m/m romance novels a few years ago, I wasn't expecting much from them.  I had hoped I would be entertained by the stories, and at the least, be able to get lost in the romance unfolding on the page.  I wasn't even all that concerned about the hotness of the sex scenes, as most of the time, I tend to just skim through them.  I just wanted a few hours of mindless entertainment, and in a few cases, that's what I've gotten.  More often than not though, I have discovered some of the best written fiction out there, and it's not mindless.  So much of it explores themes I wasn't expecting in romance; abuse, drug addiction, mental illness, and a myriad of other subjects.  My eyes were first opened to what this genre can be when I first read The Tin Box by Kim Fielding.  As I've discovered additional authors, I've run across books that keeps opening my eyes, ones of those is Final Admission by Sue Brown

This isn't my first go around with this book, I've actually read it twice before, but because of some of the themes it explores, I was never ready to review it.  Truthfully, I'm still not sure my brain is fully on board, so I'm not totally sure if this is really going to be a review, as much as a rambling narrative of what this book made me think about, and how I reacted to it.  So I apologize if this post goes off on too many tangents, or ends up being incoherent.

Many of you guys know that I grew up in a rather abusive home.  I've hinted at it in different reviews and in explanations for different Favorite Fictional Character posts.  I've even let you guys in on the ongoing, internal conversation I have with myself as I try to figure out a way to let go of the pain of not only what my father did, but in the way I lost him.  Physically abusive relationships have always been a trigger for me in my reading, and viewing for that matter.  What I've never let you guys in on, is that for a brief moment in time, I found myself in an abusive relationship as well.

Much like James in Final Admission, I'm not a small guy, nor am I a pushover.  I'm pretty determined in what I want, and normally have no issue standing up for myself, at least that's the adult version of who I am.  Between 2000 and 2002, I was dating and living with a guy, that while I was never truly in love with him, I was never truly unhappy either.  He was actually a lot of fun when we first started dating, but once we moved in together it changed. He would disappear for hours at time, sometimes until 5 or 6 in the morning.  It was always, he was with a cousin, or in the prayer chapel at church, and I was dumb for not believing him.  Needless to say, after almost a year of that, I went out with friends, and met a hot guy in the Air Force.  Stupidly, I went home with him.  In my mind, I was ending the relationship I was in, and I was ready for it.

When I got home that morning, I was met with a fist.  Growing up in the home I was in, I always told myself I would never let that happen to me, but when you are confronted with it yourself, it's a different story altogether.  This was not the first time I had a guy hit, or try and choke me, but that first time, I didn't feel as if I deserved it, so I got rid of him quick, and never looked back. But this time I froze, and while I won't drag you through all the details, it continued in this fashion for six months. A part of me felt as if I deserved it, as if I brought it on myself, and in that regard, I can understand some of what James was going through.  Where James was feeling guilty for coming through the accident unscathed, when his husband not only had physical trauma, but brain damage as well, I blamed my actions for the way I was being treated.  I brought it on myself for going home with someone else, even though my relationship had been dead for a while.  What I didn't realize is that the emotional neglect, and I can say the emotional abuse, I had been living with for the prior year, conditioned me for the physical abuse that came later.

I never had to deal with the level of abuse James, or even my mom went through, so I know it could have been worse.  And I did eventually start fighting back, something James never felt he could do, as the guilt was too thick.  Where I'm a bit jealous of James, is in his relationship with Ethan. When he meets Ethan, a small part of him grabs the hope he represents. In Ethan, James, who has given up on being happy, and living to a degree, realizes that there is something else out there, another path to chose.  It's not smooth sailing for them by any stretch of the imagination, and I can't imagine what Ethan was mentally going through, but the hope they instill in each other is beautiful to see unfold on the page.

It's actually something I have yet to allow myself to have.  I have been completely single since 2002. I always want to blame my lack of time, my work schedule, or lack of interest, but it's really more about fear.  It's not just a fear of putting myself out there again, it's a fear of what's behind the veneer, once it's wiped away.  Everyone James works with, except for his cousin and his boss, thinks he has the perfect relationship with his husband.  Yes he's a flirt, who enjoys the attention he gets from others, though he normally keeps it's to the girls, but everyone thinks he's truly happy in his marriage. I don't know if his husband was a controlling dick before the relationship, and the brain damage took it to a whole other, horrible level, or if the accident completely changed his personality.  When your husband is trying to kill you, does it even matter.  I'm not sure, given my family and personal history, when I'm going to be ready to take that risk again.  I'm not sure you can ever truly know what another person is capable of, or of who they truly are.  It's that uncertainty I have to let go of, and I have James as a role model to follow.  And yes I know this is fiction, that James and Ethan aren't real people, but seeing a path forward, even a fictional one, is enough to give me hope that I'll be ready someday.

On the short review side of things, please don't think this is a dark or depressing book, because it's not. Yes, it does have some darker moments, but remember, this is a romance novel.  In Ethan and James, you have two men who are drawn together, who truly do end up loving each other.  I won't get into all the details, because I want you guys to read the story for yourselves, but it's a gorgeously written love story.  There are a few hiccups along the way, other than those dealing with James' husband, and while I don't think I would have handled the separation in the way Ethan did, I get the reasons behind it.  The nature of an office romance is well fleshed out, and the ending scene is brilliantly staged.  This is a love story with hope at it's core, and it's one I know I'll end up reading a few more times.

Calvin's Cowboy by Drew Hunt

Synopsis From Publisher:

Calvin Hamilton reluctantly returns to his home town of Parrish Creek, Texas, to sell his parents house.  Finding the place in need of repair he hires John "Brock" Brockwell to renovate the house before putting it on the market.  Brock bares a passing resemblance to Gary Cooper, especially as he often wears western clothing.  Calvin has always had a weakness for cowboys. 

Time has reversed the two men's fortunes.  In high school Brock was the big man on campus, his popularity allowing him to hide his true nature.  Calvin was a nerd, bullied by most of the jocks for being perceived as gay. Now Calvin is a successful New York advertising executive, and Brock is a divorced father with a teenage son who faces financial ruin, unable to pay his late father's hospital bills. 

Can Calvin put past bitterness behind him and help the cowboy with who he is rapidly falling in love?  Will the deeply closeted Brock be able to admit he has feelings for Calvin?  Or will pride, fear, distance, and the past prevent them from building a future together? 

A few days ago there seemed to be another twitter storm brewing over HEAs in romance novels, for any of you who doesn't get the acronym, it stand for Happily Ever After.  I'm not sure what prompted the kerfuffle, but it's a ridiculous argument.  Apparently there are some who think a HEA is not needed in a romance novel.  Granted, I'm fairly new to the whole romance game, but I don't get the idea of romance without a HEA.   Why else would I allow myself to get suckered into the story, if it wasn't to see the main characters, after all the strife they've gone though, grab the brass ring at the end.  They need the HEA.  Hell, for that matter, I need them to have a HEA.  How else will I ever believe that there is one out there for me someday?

Everything I just wrote, was to allow me to comment on the last paragraph of the synopsis.  And it's just not a comment on this synopsis, but on the whole concept of publisher synopses to begin with.  The language, in general, is so hyperbolic.  I get that they are trying to grab a readers attention, to make them buy a book in order to figure out the outcome, but give me a break.  This is a romance novel, of course they work it out in the end.   And speaking of this synopsis, Brock is not deeply in the closet.  Is he out to the general public, no, but both his ex-wife and son are in the know.

This was one of the first romance novels I read, and one of the first to get me hooked on the whole cowboy theme in romance novels.  I don't think I really had a thing for cowboys before, but after almost two years into my romance education, I'm hooked.  There is something about a hot guy in tight denim, carrying himself with honor, and taking care of his loved ones before all else.  And Brock is one of the best of them.  He doesn't live on a ranch, he doesn't ride a horse, but he is all cowboy.  He has sacrificed himself, and his needs, in order to be what he needed to be for his dad, and for his son.  He's taken a beating for it, and when we meet him, he has some deep wounds, but like all cowboys, he refuses to give up, and he does what needs to be done to take care of his responsibilities.  He's that guy you are rooting for as soon as you meet him.  He's also the guy you want to take home to meet your family.

When he meets Calvin, and Calvin is a whirlwind, he isn't quite sure what to make of it.  Here is this guy, that he's quickly falling for, offering him a way out.  But in Brock's mind, he's the cowboy, he's the one that is supposed to come riding to the rescue, not be the one getting pulled up onto the horse, thus avoiding the stampeding buffalo.  So it takes a while, just a little bit of time, for him to trust that Calvin will be there to catch him, to trust Calvin enough that being vulnerable in front of him, admitting that he needs help, won't emasculate him.  But once he does, once he excepts what's being offered, not only for himself, but for his son, he claims what's his.  It's a perfect HEA, and only an idiot would think it should have worked out any other way.

Learning Curve By Kaje Harper

Synopsis From Back Cover:

Mac is afraid he'll never recover enough to go back to being a cop, while Tony is afraid he will.

Three months after being shot, Detective Jared MacLean is healing, but he's afraid it may not be enough to go back on the job.  He won't give up, though.  Being a cop is written deep in Mac's bones, and he'll do whatever it takes to carry his badge again.  Tony used to wish he could have Mac safely home, but watching his strong husband battle disabilities is farm from Tony's dream come true. When Mac is asked to consult on a case involving one of Tony's students, both men will have to face old demons and new fears to find a way to move forward together. 

All good things must come to an end, and unless Kaje Harper writes a fifth book, which I'm praying for, I have to say goodbye to Mac and Tony.  That doesn't mean that this won't be a series I continuously go back to, because I will, but I'll miss getting to see where their lives take them after what proved to be the most life affirming book of the series.

Mac is struggling to not only go back on the job after his near fatal shooting left him battling aphasia, but he is having to figure out who he is as a person, a husband, a father, and as a cop.  Before he met Tony, and formed their family, most of his identity was wrapped up in his career.  If he can't go back to it, which I'll relieve your fears here, he does, he isn't sure how to go about redefining himself.  He loves Tony and the kids, but he is his job, it's who he sees himself as.

Then you have poor Tony who someone has to come to terms with the man he loves, the husband he almost lost, going back to a job that almost killed him. I can't imagine being the spouse of a police officer.  I would be terrified every time he went to work that he wouldn't be coming back, it's not a situation I envy anyone, especially in today's climate.  I think the author does a wonderful job balancing Tony and Mac as individuals, as well as a couple.  They both need different things, in both of those roles, and it's not always easy to reconcile them.  Tony's fears, and Mac's need to be the man he sees himself have are two vastly conflicting issues, and the two of them handle them in a very affirming way.

We also get to see more of Mac's background in this book, and after meeting his siblings and dad, it's very easy to see how he became the man we met in the first book.  The fact he was able to overcome, and accept a life with Tony, after his childhood is amazing, and speaks to the inner strength he has. And when you compare his family to Tony's, it's even more apparent that Tony completes Mac in ways that I don't think another man would have been able to.

Challenges: Men In Uniform

Home Work by Kaje Harper

Synopsis From Publisher:

Coming together as a family was supposed to make life happy-ever-after for Mac and Tony, but their two uprooted kids, demanding jobs, and a less than gay-friendly world don't seem to have gotten the message. 

Mac and Tony thought the hard part was over. They're together openly as a couple, sharing a home and building a life with their two children. It's what they dreamed of. But daughter Anna struggles with the changes, Ben is haunted by old secrets, Mac's job in Homicide still demands too much of his time, and Tony is caught in the middle. It's going to take everything these men can give to create a viable balance between home and work.  Especially when the outside world seems determined to throw obstacles in their way. 

If you couldn't tell by now, I absolutely love this series, and I'm pretty sure I will never get enough of Mac and Tony. Home Work is the third book in the series, and it seems to be the most emotional of them so far.  They are trying to figure out the dynamics of having a new family, with two kids who aren't used to sharing, but love each other, and their new family.  Add in the everyday complications that all couples face; trying to find time to spend together, setting individual responsibilities, juggling work and home, and the millions of everyday life events, and you have two men who truly love each other, trying to figure it all out.

Midway through the book, the four of them take an amazing step in order to bring their family together.  It's one of the more emotional scenes in the book, and I'll admit to a sniffle or two.  I love Tony, but it's Mac that truly shines here.  He has been alone most of his life, and he didn't have the best home life growing up, so for him to finally have a family of his own is amazing.  There is so much love between Mac and Tony, and between them and the kids, that they are quickly becoming my favorite couple of all time.  I would put them up against the iconic legends of coupledom, both on page and screen, and I have a feeling they would come out near the top of that list.

This is still a mystery book, and the one featured here is as twisted and deliciously convoluted as they come. A young man is found dead, frozen to the bridge his body dumped on, left out like so much garbage.  Needless to say Mac has his work cut out for him on this one, and it's pretty apparent that he is going to have to sift through a lot of lies and misdirection to get to the truth.  In the end, it's a case that almost costs Mac everything, including his own life, and it leaves him  and Tony with a whole new set of challenges.

The way the two of them together to face it head on, is about as emotional as it gets.  Seeing Mac, one of the strongest characters around, come to terms with what happens to him, so shortly after the happiest day of his life, almost broke my heart. In this back third of the book, the author really shows off her writing skills, and allows the characters to grow as one.

Since I've been rambling on about how great I think Mac and Tony are, and I'm grateful if any of you are still reading this review after plowing through my flowery language, I'll let you in on one last bit of information.  This book has to have one of the coldest, most calculating villains I've come across in a while, and I absolutely love it.

Challenges: Men In Uniform