Wednesday, January 9, 2013
I guess there is no easy way to start this post off, so I guess I just have to jump right into the thick of things. For a while now, I've had a war raging within my head on whether or not to continue this blog after almost 3 and a half years. I don't love it anymore. A lot of the time, I'm not enjoying it at all. It's been feeling like an unpaid job for a while now, but I've been fighting against that feeling. I kept telling myself that my lack of enthusiasm or enjoyment, were temporary. That the love would come back to me all at once. Sadly, that hasn't been the case. I'm not feeling that love, I've actually been avoiding other people's blogs because of that. It's hard to read blogs, knowing I have posts to write, posts I almost dread doing.
Then the last 2 weeks happened, which helped cement my decision to do this. Some of you may know that I got the flu last week so I spent a lot of time in bed, watching Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, and just vegging out. It's been over three years since I've done that. I didn't realize what other interests I had been ignoring because I had books I needed to read, or felt as if I needed to write reviews for every book I read. I miss just watching TV, not reading a book. I miss reading a book for the simple pleasure of reading, not thinking about what I'm going to say about it once I'm done reading. I miss reading not being a job.
To add to the confusion, I've also just been dealt a blow at work, so I need to get out and start figuring out what I'm going to do. There are some things going on at home that need more attention and may affect me greatly in the months to come, not in a good way. I feel as if I need to get my life back, and cutting the blog out for now, is a step in that direction.
Now I'm not willing to say that this is over, that I'm done for good. The plan right now is to take the rest of this month and all of February off. Within the first few days of March I'm going to reevaluate the way I'm feeling and what I'm willing to do with the blog, if anything. If I'm still in a holding pattern, I'll do the same thing for the next two months. I'm hoping that won't be the case though. Hopefully, by the end of Feb. I will know for sure, whether or not I want to keep Wordsmithonia going, or hang up the closed for business sign for good.
I appreciate and love the community I have found over the last three years, and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything. I have met some wonderful bloggers, many of whom I count as friends now, and I hope to continue those relationships, regardless of the final outcome. I would love for anyone that I'm not already friend with on Facebook, to send me a friend request. If you can't find me, email me and I will send you the direct link to my page.
I thank all of you for the support and love you have shown me over the years. I will never be able to express how much your comments and feedback have meant to me. I will say you won't be getting rid of me all together though. I think this decision will allow me to blog read and comment, without feeling guilty about my own blog, so I will be visiting a lot more often.
Hopefully this won't be goodbye for forever, either way I will be back here at the beginning of March to let you know what's going on. For now, take care of yourselves and I will see you around the blogosphere.
Love you all,