Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Time To Say Goodbye.... Hopefully Not For Forever


I guess there is no easy way to start this post off, so I guess I just have to jump right into the thick of things.  For a while now, I've had a war raging within my head on whether or not to continue this blog after almost 3 and a half years.  I don't love it anymore.  A lot of the time, I'm not enjoying it at all.  It's been feeling like an unpaid job for a while now, but I've been fighting against that feeling.  I kept telling myself that my lack of enthusiasm or enjoyment, were temporary.  That the love would come back to me all at once.  Sadly, that hasn't been the case.  I'm not feeling that love, I've actually been avoiding other people's blogs because of that.  It's hard to read blogs, knowing I have posts to write, posts I almost dread doing.

Then the last 2 weeks happened, which helped cement my decision to do this.  Some of you may know that I got the flu last week so I spent a lot of time in bed, watching Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, and just vegging out.  It's been over three years since I've done that.  I didn't realize what other interests I had been ignoring because I had books I needed to read, or felt as if I needed to write reviews for every book I read.  I miss just watching TV, not reading a book.  I miss reading a book for the simple pleasure of reading, not thinking about what I'm going to say about it once I'm done reading.  I miss reading not being a job.

To add to the confusion, I've also just been dealt a blow at work, so I need to get out and start figuring out what I'm going to do.  There are some things going on at home that need more attention and may affect me greatly in the months to come, not in a good way.  I feel as if I need to get my life back, and cutting the blog out for now, is a step in that direction.

Now I'm not willing to say that this is over, that I'm done for good.  The plan right now is to take the rest of this month and all of February off.  Within the first few days of March I'm going to reevaluate the way I'm feeling and what I'm willing to do with the blog, if anything.  If I'm still in a holding pattern, I'll do the same thing for the next two months.  I'm hoping that won't be the case though.  Hopefully, by the end of Feb. I will know for sure, whether or not I want to keep Wordsmithonia going, or hang up the closed for business sign for good.

I appreciate and love the community I have found over the last three years, and I wouldn't trade the experience for anything.  I have met some wonderful bloggers, many of whom I count as friends now, and I hope to continue those relationships, regardless of the final outcome.  I would love for anyone that I'm not already friend with on Facebook, to send me a friend request.  If you can't find me, email me and I will send you the direct link to my page.

I thank all of you for the support and love you have shown me over the years.  I will never be able to express how much your comments and feedback have meant to me.  I will say you won't be getting rid of me all together though.  I think this decision will allow me to blog read and comment, without feeling guilty about my own blog, so I will be visiting a lot more often.

Hopefully this won't be goodbye for forever, either way I will be back here at the beginning of March to let you know what's going on.  For now, take care of yourselves and I will see you around the blogosphere.

Love you all,

Ryan

37 comments:

Ruth said...

Take care of yourself!! The blogosphere will still be here when or even if you want to come back. :)

bermudaonion said...

I get where you're coming from, Ryan. Your blog will be missed so I hope the breather does you some good and you come back refreshed. I also hope you figure things out on the job front. Good luck to you all the way around!

Melissa (My World...in words and pages) said...

Oh Ryan...I'm so sorry. I know the blog does seem to become a second job and take so much time. It's sad to see you go, you got me going in this stuff. But if you come to that decision, I understand. I feel like I'm losing so many great blogging buddies these days. :( Take care friend!

Peter S. said...

Hello, Ryan! I do hope that everything turns out well with whatever it is going in your job and in other stuff. I'll miss reading your book-ish posts though. But I'm still hoping that you do return in March.

Cecelia said...

Best of luck with this period away from the blog - we'll be thinking of you and come back if you do!

Becca Lostinbooks said...

I understand where you are coming from. I had to take a break from my blog. Work and school obligations and my bf had to take precedence over blogging. Plus I was just burnt out. So as you know I took basically a year and a half off. Now I am back and in love with it all over again.

I hope you find this to be the case for you one day, but if not don't feel bad about it. You have to do what you have to do to get your spark back again. We will talk on FB, friend. ((Hugs))

wordsandpeace.com said...

Take care of yourself, and hope to see you soon back in great shape

Alexia561 said...

While I'll miss Wordsmithonia, we'll always have Facebook! I totally understand your feelings as I've come close to quitting several times. The pressure does get crazy sometimes!

Hope things work out for you, my friend!

Teddyree said...

Sorry things are tough right now Ryan, it's such a joy-suck when reading and reviewing feels like just another chore, I've had my months away from my blog over the years, times when I've felt like my blog and reading commitments have sucked me dry. Hope after a break you get the love back but if not don't worry, we'll see you on FB. Good thing you didn't delete me haha ;)

Tasha B. said...

I totally understand, Ryan, and was feeling the same way this time last year. Blogging should be fun and you definitely don't need any extra pressure in your life, so taking a break for as long as you need will probably turn out to be a good idea. Hopefully you'll be back soon and better than ever. :) Good luck with the job!!

Blodeuedd said...

I hate to see you go, but when it starts to feel like a job it sure is time to take a break and figure things out

Prashant C. Trikannad said...

A break is always a good thing, Ryan. It helps us recharge our batteries. I hope everything works out fine for you, both personally and professionally. My best wishes to you.

Debbie Haupt said...

Ryan, although I will dearly miss your words of wisdom the important thing to focus on is you, your health and your happiness. Life is too short to do things that have lost that loving feeling to quote a favorite line from a favorite song.
Know that you're in my thoughts, my prayers and I have all digits crossed in hope that you will soon find that happiness that you so richly deserve.
Love you too
deb

Michelle @ The True Book Addict said...

Ryan, ultimately you have to do what is right for you. If this is it, then I completely understand. Your blog will be missed, if you do decide to hang it up for good, but at least I'm lucky enough to be your friend and I don't see that changing. I hope you will email me and let me know what else is going on with you. I know about the job thing (sucks), but it sounds like there's more and I want you to know I'm here if you ever need an ear or a virtual hug. I loves you like a brother, you know. <3

Marce said...

You have to do what is best for you Ryan. The blog and blogosphere will be here when and if you are ready.

Good luck with the job and family life. So many changes going on, stay positive and embrace what makes you happy and fulfilled, which includes reading what you want when you want.

Debbie Rodgers @Exurbanis said...

I just found you a few weeks ago, but I will miss your posts. Take care of yourself and come back to us when the love returns.

carol said...

We'll miss you! I hope everything at home and your job work out well for you.

Yvette said...

Well, I didn't pick a very good time to award you the 2012 Blog of the Year award did I? That's me all over, a day late and a dollar short. Ha!

I completely understand your taking a time out, Ryan. I've felt that way myself occasionally and have actually cut back on my blogging. I say if it becomes a chore, stop doing it. That's my motto.

Please take care of yourself and I hope you'll soon be feeling topnotch and that your problems at work will be a thing of the past. Whatever the future holds for you, Ryan, I only wish you the best.

See you on your Facebook page and on Lexulous. :)

Melissa (Books and Things) said...

Totally understand how you feel. I feel that way about the blog too at times. I totally see why you have to take time off. Hope everything turns out great even if it doesn't feel like it will now. Take care!!

Staci said...

When I read the title of your blog post in my sidebar my heart dropped a bit into my stomach knowing exactly what I would read when I clicked on the link. I understand and absolutely GET all that you're saying. Blogging started out with so much fun and carefree time, but then quickly spiraled into a crazed monster. My own marriage has suffered due to my blogging and I have been cutting back computer time, shutting off the t.v. and just being with my husband. I'm so sorry to hear that work has dealt you some blows...I will be sending you positive and uplifting prayers daily!! Enjoy this time away and try not to think about your blog. If you do come back to it your friends will still be here to read your posts. Plus, many of us are connected to you via Facebook! Just popping into each other's days from time to time is a great way to give someone a boost!!

Take care of yourself and your family! Loved ones and relationships ARE the most important things we have in our lives!!

Hugs,
Staci

Jaime Huff said...

Ryan... wow. I really wished I had the guts to admit this was why I took a long hiatus from blogging and why I stopped focusing on books. I really do have all the issues I talked about but... honestly, I no longer enjoyed blogging about books. It became a chore. I no longer enjoyed reading what I wanted to read, watching tv... I felt like this was all required reading. That's why upon my return- I chose to blog about whatever in the heck I feel like... no one straight focus.

So in short, I am saying I understand. I truly do. I will miss seeing your posts and I do wish for nothing but the best. A break will be good. Being able to regroup and refocus... it will be good. I can't say anything more than has already been said by these other amazing bloggers!

Hang in there, friend. We're all here, as a blogging family. I look forward to your return. You can find me on Facebook with email booknerdextraordinaire at yahoo dot com.

Please keep in touch!

(Diane) Bibliophile By the Sea said...

Ryan, I hope everything works out well for you. You will be missed and hope we see you back. [ I feel the same way about my blog from time to time].

Michelle (Red Headed Book Child) said...

I think everyone has had this feeling. I'm glad we "met" and look forward to continuing our friendship on Facebook, if that' all there will be.

Good luck with your rest.

Carrie K. said...

You will definitely be missed, but I can understand the reasons why you need to take some time off. I hope that things work out with work and home issues, and that you will have a clear answer as to your future in blogging. Take care!

bookmagic said...

Ryan, I totally understand as you know I haven't blogged in almost a year. We all started blogging because we love to read and we love books and sometime blogging takes the joy out of it. I'm glad about so many people I've met through blogging and I feel like they are still in my lives through twitter and now facebook (I was so against fb, now I'm always on). Your personal life has to come first, too. You made a brave decision. You know I'm always here for you, like Michelle said, I also think of you like a brother. You deserve only good things!

My anxious life said...

I am totally bummed about this. Even when my dad was in the hospital I kept stopping by your blog to cheer me up. I am sorry to read this!! Take care of yourself!!

Angie

Bookfool said...

I've wrestled with the same things for years (having blogged for 6 1/2). Sometimes we have to reevaluate. Whether you return or not, you have been a valued blogger. Best to you, Ryan. See you on FB!

Loni said...

Blogging shouldn't feel like a job (unless you're one of those rare people where it actually is your job). I always try to make it fun and casual. I don't want it to feel like work either. I get to it when I have time. Posts shouldn't be book reports or essays, for me, they're really what I thought/felt.

I really enjoyed all your Buffy love (as I share it). Decide what is best for your. Redesign your blog or get rid of it. Just make sure you're happy!

I'll look for you on Facebook.

Anna said...

Good luck, Ryan! You have to do what's best for you, but I hope you'll stick around. I was feeling overwhelmed last summer, but I decided to pull back to 3 posts per week, and that re-energized me. I hope you find happiness with whatever you decide.

Bev Hankins said...

Ryan, so sorry that things seem to have hit you all at once. It's definitely a good idea to take a break if blogging is no longer fun for you. I hope the time off will be good for you and that things come together for you employment-wise. I'll miss your posts (especially all those Mary Robert Rinehart reviews! :-) ). See you on Facebook and Words With Friends!

Nan said...

I sure get it. I've stopped after writing my blog for six years. I know it was the right decision for me, and I'll not return. I am enjoying living (and reading) without writing about it. Good luck in all you decide to do.

Creations by Laurel-Rain Snow said...

You will definitely be missed, Ryan, but perhaps you will find your blogging love return after the breather. That can happen!

I like how you plan to take it in stages. I think that's a good way to assess how you're feeling after short periods away from the blog.

Whatever you decide, our thoughts will follow you! Good luck!

Martha Eskuchen said...

Ryan - I have enjoyed your reading selections, your well thought out posts, and your different perspective. I, as others in the blogging community, will miss you.
I can certainly understand the "second job" aspect. It becomes a time consumer.
I hope all things work out well for you and I hope you will pop in and visit now and then. Best wishes.

Sheila (Bookjourney) said...

Ryan - oh my gosh... my first instinct is to say "NOOOOOO! Don't Go! You and I started together... we are blogging buds!"

But I get what you are saying, obviously my time to blog has changed as well or it would not have taken me two weeks to see your post here.

You know I will miss you like crazy, but I fully understand and we can chat on Facebook and of course you can kick my butt at Scrabble any time. :)

I am glad you are not saying Good bye forever as you never know... :)

Keep in touch friend.

Kaye said...

Ryan, I so understand what you are going through blog wise. I have dramatically cut down computer time and not reviewing at all. I just want to tell you how freeing it is not to have to think of something for the blog or what else to say about a book I haven't already said numerous times. It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I hope you get the same feeling of relief and that what is going on in your personal life is soon resolved without too much heartache. Many big {{{hugs}}}to you, my friend. I'm going to check out your fb page! :-)

bermudaonion said...

Hey Ryan, I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and hope things are going well.

TracyK said...

Ryan, I just saw this post about taking a break from the blog. I hope things are going OK with you. I lost my job (of 29 years) 3 years ago and it was very wrenching. I got another job very shortly afterwards, but it took my husband much longer (we worked at the same place).

As far as blogging goes, and whether it is fun, I am sure I don't do as well at blogging (as I could) because I do take the time to watch television with my family. And I am working hard at reading for fun, not just for challenges.

Anyway, thinking of you. Take care of yourself.